Everything is Going to be Okay
by Preppy Princess 5103
Summary: Harm & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying. (Sequel to 'It Started in Russia')
1. Chapter 1

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Notes:** Sequel to "It Started in Russia". I'm not sure if reading that is completely necessary, but it'll probably help – although there are lots of sex scenes (hence the M rating for that one) so if that offends you, steer clear. Here's what you missed in that one: Harm & Mac had sex a few times as a way to comfort one another during emotional times, eventually started dating, and he returned to flying. This does pick up almost immediately where that one ended.

**Part 1 **

_**Monday**_

"Enter." Mac opened the door to the Admiral's office and came to attention when she approached the desk. He smiled softy. "Sit down, Mac."

She relaxed and took the seat she usually took, trying not to look at the empty one next to hers. The one Harm usually sat in. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, sir." He raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair. She knew he didn't believe her and was content to sit there and wait. "I've been better."

He nodded. "Is he still in Pensacola?"

"Yes sir. He'll be there for a few days before he leaves for the Patrick Henry. Thank you again for giving me the time off."

"You're welcome, Mac." He felt an almost overwhelming urge to give her a hug. He picked up his pen and fiddled with it, needing something to do with his hands.

"Sir, may I ask you a question?" He nodded and she moistened her lips. "How did you find out about Harm and I? We tried so hard to be discrete."

He smiled and sat the pen down. "You just told me." He laughed softly as her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. "I suspected, but I didn't know. I don't think anyone else knows if you're worried about that. If Harriet hadn't been pregnant and wasn't now consumed with a newborn, she would probably have guessed as well. I guess you got lucky."

Mac smiled and made a mental note to stop by and see her godson this week. "After everything that happened last year… Dalton, and then Chris and the Article 32… I just really wanted to keep my personal life personal." She realized she was talking to her commanding officer about something that was expressly prohibited in the UMCJ and began to babble. "Sir, I know Harm and I dating while we worked together was against the rules, but I promise you that nothing really started until he had already decided to leave."

He stood up and walked around the desk and sat in the other chair. "It's not a problem, Mac. I'm not going to bring you up on charges or anything. Don't worry about it. If he ends up coming back to JAG at some point, I won't make an issue of it then either, as long as it stays out of the office. At least not unless there is a legal change in your status we need to address. So please stop worrying."

"Do you think he'll come back? If he wants to, you'll take him back?"

He laughed, "I took you back, didn't I?" She gave him a thankful smile. "But yes, I think he'll end up back here sooner, rather than later. He didn't get to leave the cockpit on his own terms before, so I understand his misguided need to do this. But I don't think it'll take him long to realize that isn't where he wants to be anymore." They sat in silence for a moment before he smacked his hands against the arms of his chair and stood up. "Well, I guess we should get back to work."

She stood and nodded. "Yes, sir."

* * *

_**Friday**_

Mac groaned as someone knocked on her door. She stuck a paint chip in the pages to mark her place and set the book on the coffee table before heading to the door. She looked through the peep hole and groaned when she saw it was Madeline. Maddie had called every night this week to invite her out. And now she had apparently given up on calling beforehand. She pulled open the door and forced a smile. "Hey Maddie."

Madeline gave her the once over, and squeezed past her to enter the apartment. Mac sighed and shut the door behind them. She returned to the couch and sat at one end, tucking her legs under her.

Maddie set her purse on the table and joined her on the couch. "You look terrible."

Mac looked down at her t-shirt and running shorts and frowned. "Thank you."

Maddie's face softened and she placed a hand on her friend's leg. "I know you miss him, but this isn't healthy. Go put on some decent clothes and come out with me."

Mac's expression was one of barely concealed incredulity. "Maddie, I'm really not up to going out. I do miss him. I'm sad. He left for the carrier this afternoon and I haven't heard from him yet. I really just want to sit here and wallow in self-pity. Please let me do that."

She shook her head. "Absolutely not. You cannot wallow and worry for the next six months. I won't let you, and Harm would absolutely hate that." She stood and held a hand out. "You have your cell phone. When he calls, he'll try that if he can't reach you here. We're not going anywhere scandalous. Just dinner at the Mediterranean place on 9th street. I made reservations for 8:00. Come on."

With a sigh Mac took her hand and allowed herself to be pulled up. "Fine. I'll go change." She started to head to her bedroom and turned to look at her friend when she was at the doorway. "Thanks Maddie."

"Anytime. Now change. I'm going to take over your bathroom and do something with my hair."

* * *

It wasn't long before the women were in Mac's Corvette and heading into the city. Madeline had maneuvered her long red hair from a messy bun into a fishtail side braid, and Mac had changed into dark skinny jeans, an emerald green sleeveless blouse and a lightweight light gray blazer.

They approached the restaurant and Mac handed the keys to the valet, not feeling like driving around for 20 minutes trying to find street parking. They went inside and Madeline approached the hostess. They were seated promptly at a small table near a beautiful fireplace, and Mac found herself wishing it was winter and there was a fire burning. She scanned the restaurant, admiring the modern blue and white décor and the whole walls of floor to ceiling windows.

Their server had just left with their drink orders when Mac saw Maddie straighten and felt a tap on her own shoulder. She turned her head and smiled a genuine smile for the first time that night. She stood and accepted a hug. She pulled back after a long moment and smiled again. "It's so good to see you, Ben."

He took her hands and took a step back to look her over. "It's great to see you. You look absolutely wonderful." He gave her a slightly devilish grin. "Harm is pretty selfish you know – last time I saw him I asked if he was finally ready to set the two of us up on a date. I see he swooped in himself."

She laughed and squeezed his hands. "He's pretty impossible to say no to." She let go of his hands and turned back to Madeline. "Maddie, I'd like you to meet Ben Taylor. He and Harm went to law school together. Ben, this is my good friend Madeline Lowery." He leaned over and shook her hand, and Mac noticed how his eyes lit up as he took in her friend. Harm had mentioned Ben had a penchant for red heads. "Ben, would you like to join us?"

He shook his head. "I'd hate to intrude, and I need to get back to work anyway. I met a colleague here for a drink and was on my way out when I saw the two of you."

"It's not an intrusion," Maddie said, "please stay."

Their eyes locked and after a pause he nodded. "If you're sure you don't mind."

Mac sat down and tapped an empty seat. "Sit."

Ben grinned at her, and took the seat. "How are you, Mac. Really."

She shrugged. "I'm sad. I miss him."

He nodded. "I can imagine." He thought about his ex, and how hard it was to go home to the apartment they had shared. He had brooded and been angry at the world for nearly a month before deciding he had to move on with things. "Have you heard from him yet?"

"We've talked all week, but he was still in Pensacola. He left for the carrier earlier today so I haven't heard from him yet."

He placed his hand on hers and squeezed gently. "I know you have an office full of people to turn to, but if I can help in any way, just let me know. Do you have my number?" She shook her head and he pulled a business card holder out of his pocket. He took out a card and scribbled another number on the back. "My cell phone number," he said as he handed it to her. "Call if you need anything."

"I'd like that number too, please."

Mac grinned at Maddie and cast a sideways glance at Ben. He was blushing as he wrote his number down on another card and handed it to her. "I've shown you mine, now show me yours." His tone was teasing, and his charming smile made Mac understand why Harm teased him about women flocking to him. He took the card Maddie held out to him and studied it for a second. "Cardio-thoracic surgeon? Seriously?" He looked to Mac for confirmation.

Mac laughed and nodded. "Maddie may look like a supermodel, but she's brilliant." The waiter arrived at that moment with Mac and Maddie's drinks, and took Ben's drink order before leaving again. They tucked the business cards away and the three of them opened their menus.

* * *

The menu was made up of mostly small plates for the table to share, and they ended up with an assortment of dishes ranging from seared octopus to giant white beans with tomatoes and rosemary. Ben and Maddie had really hit it off, and Mac was enjoying herself. It was nice to sit back and watch two wonderful people get to know one another. And it was really nice not to have to talk about Harm or answer questions about Harm. There was nothing new to say, and even though both of these people knew about their relationship she was still a little uneasy talking about it. Her cellphone began to ring from her back pocket, and she jumped. She locked eyes with Maddie and then flipped it open.

"Hey Mac."

Relief flooded through her at the sound of his voice. She smiled, and Maddie grinned knowing it was Harm.

"It's so good to hear your voice."

"God, it's good to hear yours too." Harm paused, hearing a lot of noise in the background. "Are you out? Should I try to call later?"

"Hold on one second." She put her hand over the mouthpiece. "I'm going to step outside and take this, if you don't mind."

Maddie smiled and Ben gestured at the door with his head. "Go. We'll be right here."

Mac grabbed her purse and hurried out of the restaurant and smiled her appreciation at an older man holding the door open for her. "I can talk. Maddie forced me into going out to dinner tonight. We ran into Ben at the restaurant and invited him to join us."

"Did they hit it off?"

She could hear the smile in his voice and leaned against the cool stone of the building. "Absolutely. He was at the table for less than five minutes and they had already exchanged numbers." He laughed and she felt something inside her warm. "So, you made it safely?"

"I did. I got here about an hour ago. My roommate is practically a baby. But I did volunteer to help with some of the legal issues on board, so I have a quiet place to escape to if need be. Which also comes with the benefit of a more private phone to use."

"That's a pretty nice perk."

"Being able to talk to you for a bit without a line of impatient people behind me makes all that time spent getting a law degree worth it." She laughed softly and he smiled. "Do you need to get back or can you talk for a few minutes?"

She looked into the restaurant and smiled. Ben and Maddie were bent towards one another, and Ben's fingers were fidgeting with the end of Maddie's braid. "I doubt they've even noticed I'm gone. Want to put a wager on who she goes home with, me or Ben?"

"Seriously?"

Mac nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see her. "They're currently bent towards one another and Ben is playing with her hair."

Harm whistled. "I just hope he's over that playboy phase he was in."

"If anyone could get him out of it, it would be Maddie." She turned away from the window. She was unsure what to say to him. This was all so new to her. Not just the long-distance part of the relationship, but a relationship like this in general. He meant more to her than words could express, and it worried her that for six months words were all they would have.

He listened to the background city noise for a minute, waiting for her to continue. "Sarah."

"Yes? Sorry. I was somewhere else for a moment."

"I love you. And I miss you." He heard her sharp intake of breath and continued. "And everything is going to be okay."

"I wasn't expecting it to be this hard," she confessed, "I'm a Marine, Harm. I should be stronger than this."

"You're a damn good Marine, but you're also a human being who misses the person she loves. You're allowed to be both." His heart ached at the sniffle he heard, and he decided he needed to lighten the mood. "So, what are you wearing?"

She snorted and swiped at her face. "Nice, Rabb."

"Hey, I made you smile."

"Yes, you did. And I love you too." She took a deep breath when she heard the unmistakable sound of a door opening on his end, and someone talking to him. "Do you need to go?"

Harm sighed softly, "I do. There's a meeting in a few minutes I need to be apart of. Hold on one sec." He put his hand over the mouthpiece and asked for a minute of privacy to end the call. When the door was shut, he turned her attention back to her. "I'm not sure what's on the agenda tomorrow, but I'll either call or email. I love you."

"I love you too. Stay safe, Flyboy."

He smiled at the use of the old nickname. "I will. Bye Ninjagirl."

They hung up at the same time, and Mac stood outside for another minute to compose herself. She went back to the table and saw Ben and Maddie laughing as they played tug of war over the check. Mac scanned the restaurant and saw their server over by the bar. She pulled a credit card out of her wallet and hurried to him. "Hi, I'm sorry to bother you." He turned and smiled, and she continued. "My friends are fighting over the check. Is there anyway you can print another copy and I can pay you right now? I'd really love to treat them."

"Of course, ma'am." He gestured to a small computer near the end of the bar and she followed him to it. He reprinted the check and she quickly glanced at it before handing over her credit card. Once she had signed the credit slip and tucked the receipt & card back in her wallet, she made her way to the table, where Ben was now holding the leather portfolio just out of reach. Mac snagged it from his hand and sat back down.

"I've already paid," she said, gesturing to the server who smiled and waved.

"Mac, this was going to be my treat." Maddie said, her voice almost to a whine.

"I know, and I appreciate it. But I also really appreciate you, and I wanted to say thank you."

Maddie reached over and squeezed her hand. "You're welcome."

"I'm paying next time." Both women looked at Ben and smiled. "Are you two about ready to head out?"

Mac nodded. "I'm beat. This week has been exhausting." She stood and moved her purse from her lap to her shoulder. "Are you ready, Maddie?" She saw Maddie and Ben exchange a look and she bit back a smile.

"I think Ben and I are going to go grab a drink. I'll have him bring me back to your place later to get my car." She looked at Ben who nodded and then back at Mac. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes." She smiled and embraced her friend. "He's a good guy," she whispered. She hugged Ben next. "You two have fun." The three of them walked out together and handed the two valet slips to the attendant. Ben's car came first, and Mac smiled as he opened & shut the door for Maddie. He waved at her and they drove off. Her own car came a few minutes later. She thanked the attendant and got in. She was about to head to her place, but changed her mind at the last minute when she realized how close she was to Harm's apartment. She drove to the familiar loft on autopilot and let herself in with the key she'd had for years, locking the door behind her. She went to his bedroom and sat down on the edge, and slipped off her shoes and blazer. She pulled back the covers and lay down. His scent still lingered on the pillow. She breathed it in, and then pulled the duvet up to her chin. It was only minutes before she slipped into a deep sleep.

End Part 1


	2. Chapter 2

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Notes:** Because I really loved Sturgis in the beginning, I'm introducing him early. Also, this story is going to be more Mac heavy simply because I have no idea what life is like on a carrier, and other than what I learned during a quick Google search, I have no idea what life is like for a pilot on a carrier.

**Part 2**

_Harm: How did you know I might need these? _

_Skates: My fiancé works for SECNAV's office. He was telling me about this aging retread._

_Harm: Aging retread? _

_Skates: Those were his words, sir._

_**-Goodbyes **_

"How's the aging retread?"

Harm looked up from his dinner and grinned. "Skates! Good to see you. When did you get here?" She hovered over the spare chair at his table. He moved the papers he had spread over the majority of the table and stacked them neatly. "Please, join me."

"Thank you, sir." She pulled out the chair and sat. She looked his plate with barely disguised disdain. "I got here last week. You know the fries on board are actually pretty good."

He rolled his eyes and speared a piece of steamed broccoli with a fork. "Apparently I'm destined to work only with women who mock my eating habits."

She laughed and unwrapped her sandwich. "Are you settling in okay?"

"Other than the fact that I think some of these people are technically young enough to be my children?" She raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. "Okay, maybe not my children. But at least a much, much younger sibling. Or a niece or nephew."

She grinned at him. "Well, besides that."

"It's fine. I miss my old life more than I thought I would."

She nodded. "Is someone waiting for you back home?" He blushed, and she instantly felt uncomfortable. "Sir, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business."

He waved her off. "It's fine, Skates. I did leave someone behind. It's new though, and she wants to be discrete so I'm not used to talking about it."

Skates nodded. "Major MacKenzie?" His eyes widened and she smiled. "Pretty easy to guess. Discretion means it's likely someone you work with." She took a sip of her soda and glanced at her engagement ring. "I won't lie and say the distance ever gets easier. But it does become easier to deal with."

* * *

"Good morning, Mac."

She looked up and inwardly groaned when she saw it was Mic Brumby standing in her doorway. Harm had been right. In the two weeks since he had been gone, Mic had been absolutely relentless. No one but the admiral knew about her and Harm, but Brumby was acting as if Harm's presence had been the only thing keeping her from going out with him.

"Good morning, Commander."

He came into the office and perched himself on the corner of her desk. "Has your client given anymore thought to my offer? It's a good deal, Mac. Much better than the 15 years he's facing otherwise."

She glanced at the file on the top of her towering stack and wanted to scream. Harm's leaving had put all of them in a bit of a bind. Bud had even had to return from paternity leave early to help with some of the caseload. In all actuality she would love for her client to take Mic's deal, but it wasn't happening – no matter how damning the evidence. "I already told you he's not taking it." She turned her attention back to her computer screen, hoping he would get the hint. When he didn't, she sighed and returned her attention to him. "Is there something else?"

"Have dinner with me tonight."

"Mic, I've told you I'm seeing someone. The answer is and will continue to be no."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Come on. It'll be fun. You seem like you could use a break. You're not still mad about the murder trial, are you?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not mad. I'm glad you defended Colonel Farrow so vigorously. But the answer is no, Mic. And I shouldn't have to give you a reason, but even if I wasn't seeing anyone, the answer would still be no."

"Are you seeing Colonel Farrow again?"

"Out. Now." She glared at him and pointed to her door, not breaking eye contact. After a minute he nodded and walked out of her office, shutting the door behind him. "Jackass," she muttered.

"Major Mackenzie?"

She jumped at the sound of Tiner's voice on her intercom. "Yes, Tiner?"

"The Admiral would like to see you in his office ASAP."

She used her thumb and forefinger to rub over her eyes and squeeze the bridge of her nose before pressing the button. "I'm on my way." She secured her computer and hurried through the bullpen to his office.

"You can go on in, ma'am."

She smiled at the young petty officer and entered Admiral Chegwidden's office. He was sitting behind his desk and an attractive man sat in her usual chair. She took the other seat and noticed the stranger was staring at her with a curious expression on his face.

"Morning Major. I'd like to introduce you to Commander Sturgis Turner. Commander Turner just came to us from Pearl and is going to be taking over Commander Rabb's spot."

She turned towards him and extended her hand. "Sarah MacKenzie. It's a pleasure."

He blinked and then shook her hand firmly. "Likewise, Major. I've heard a lot about you. I look forward to working together."

She smiled and nodded, and they both turned back to the Admiral. "Mac, I believe you have the largest case load right now, so I'd appreciate it if you would unload some of those on the Commander and get him up to speed. He's going to be in Commander Rabb's office, so maybe you could show him around and help him get settled?"

"Absolutely, sir."

Once they were dismissed, they walked back to the bullpen together and stopped in front of Harm's old office. "Here you are. I'm right next door," she said, gesturing at her own office. "Once you've settled in come get me, and I'll give you a tour and give you some of these cases." She returned to her office and glared at the stack of files.

* * *

Sturgis sat his briefcase on the desk and took a seat. He scanned the office and was satisfied. It may not have palm trees outside the window like his previous office, but it was a decent size and at least there was a window. He opened a desk drawer to see if there were any office supplies remaining and found an assortment of pens and a few legal pads. He took one of the legal pads out and moved to the next drawer. It wouldn't open all of the way and he bent over and saw a piece of paper caught in the track. He tugged it free and examined it. He realized it was a photograph and studied it curiously. The timestamp on the bottom was dated earlier this year, and it was his old friend with Major MacKenzie and two other people – a pretty and very pregnant blond woman, and a short, stocky man with a friendly smile. He tucked the photo in the legal pad and headed over to the Major's office.

He tapped on the open door. "Is now a good time?"

"Absolutely. Come in, please."

He came in the office and shut the door behind him. He took a seat in front of her desk and pulled the photo out of the pages of the legal pad. "I found this in Commander Rabb's desk." He handed her the photo, which she timidly took.

She looked at it and forced a smile. It had been taken the night of Bud's wet-down a few months earlier. The night everything had changed between her and Harm. She studied the photo and could see the tension in both of their faces, having been forced together in a photo when both had been trying their hardest to avoid one another. "Thank you," she said simply.

"Major MacKenzie- "

"Please, call me Mac," she interrupted.

"Mac," he said with a smile, "earlier when I said I had heard a lot about you, I didn't mean from anyone here. I meant from Harm. He and I were at the academy together."

She leaned back in her chair, and the earlier expression on his face suddenly made sense. "You knew Diane Schonke."

He nodded, "I did. Harm never mentioned the resemblance when he spoke of you. It was a bit of a shock."

"The first time we met was a little unsettling for both of us. I kept catching at him staring at me with this odd look on his face. Once I finally saw a photo of her it made a lot more sense." She glanced down at the photo and then back at him. "Anyways. Let's get to work." She slid the photo in her own desk drawer and pulled the stack of files to the center of the desk. "If it's alright with you, I'm going to give you the cases I inherited from Harm. I haven't had much time to do anything with them yet, so I'd rather give those away then the ones I've done actual legwork on."

"That makes perfect sense." He studied her as she flipped through the cases, putting one in a separate stack every so often. Her hair was shorter and a bit lighter than Diane's, and he wondered it that had been intentional. It had to be difficult to work closely with someone every day and knew they were seeing someone else when they looked at you. He cleared his head of thoughts of his deceased classmate and watched as she finished dividing up the files. After another minute, she finally extended a medium sized stack to him.

"Harm made notes on some of these already. If you need any help deciphering his handwriting, I'm fluent in Harm." She smiled as he laughed. "You can leave your things in here if you'd like, and I'll show you around."

He nodded and he followed her out of her office. Her first stop was the other man in the photograph, Bud Roberts. She introduced him to Commanders Imes and Mattoni, and then Mic Brumby. She showed him where office supplies were kept, and apologized for the mess. Harriet Sims, he learned, was the person who ran the office and she was out on maternity leave. She showed him the courtrooms, and conference rooms, and along the way introduced him to other staffers and even one judge they ran into in the elevator on the way back to the bullpen.

"And that's that." She said, opening the door to her office.

He picked up his briefcase and the stack of files. "Thank you for the tour, Mac. I appreciate it."

"Happy to help. And I'm right next door if you need anything." She smiled as he nodded and made his way back to his office. When she was alone, she opened the desk drawer and pulled out the photo Sturgis had given her. She stared at it for a moment before shaking her head and returning the photo to the drawer.

* * *

Mac had packed up her briefcase and was waiting for her computer to power down when the phone rang. She groaned, and then reached for the receiver. "Major MacKenzie."

"Hey there, gorgeous."

Hearing his voice sent warmth throughout her body and she sat back in her chair with a smile. She switched the phone to her other ear and leaned back. "Hey there."

"Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Perfect timing. I was just getting packed up to leave for the day. How was your day?"

He sat back in his chair and used his thumb to spin his Academy ring around. "It's been a long one. I got to fly for a few hours, but then I was in briefings and meetings for what feels like forever. And now I'm settling in for a few hours of legal work. How are you?"

"I'm good, actually. Your replacement arrived today. I gave him all of the files I inherited from you and showed him around. Now my workload is manageable again, so that makes me pretty happy."

'Your replacement.' He couldn't help but grimace at those words. "My replacement, huh? What's he like?"

"You tell me. Apparently, you went to the academy together. His name is Sturgis Turner."

Harm's eyes widened and he sat up straighter. "Sturgis is there? No kidding. He's a good guy. A lot more of a rule follower than I am, so you two should get along great."

She smiled. "Yeah, I could tell that after about five minutes with him." She took a deep breath and forced her next words out. "My appearance startled him."

He winced. "I imagine so. I'm sorry if that was awkward."

"It was fine, it just made me wonder something. Harm, am I – Well. Am I a replacement for her?"

His intake of breath was sharp. "God, Mac. No. Not at all. I stopped seeing her when I look at you a really long time ago. My feelings for you have absolutely nothing to do with her."

"Okay." Her voice was soft, but steady.

"I don't see Diane when I look at you. And I don't think about Diane with I'm with you. And I didn't love her the way I love you." He was quiet for a minute. "Mac, what I feel for you is so powerful and overwhelming. Please don't ever think that you're a substitute for anyone."

"I miss you, Harm."

"I miss you too." He looked at the clock on the computer and frowned. "I guess I should get back to work. I just wanted to hear your voice. I'll email you more about my day tonight before bed."

She smiled and straightened in her chair. "I'm glad you did. I love you."

"I love you too."

Mac hung up the phone and sighed before standing up. She grabbed her purse and her briefcase, and shut the door behind her.

**End Part 2**


	3. Chapter 3

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Notes:** If I were to rank my least favorite JAG characters of all time, Mic would be in the top 3. His position within that three varies based on the season I'm watching at the time, but he's always in the top 3.

**Part 3**

Mac walked into the break room and found Sturgis slicing into a bagel with surgical precision. She smiled and headed towards the coffee. "Morning Sturgis."

He looked over his shoulder and smiled. "Morning Mac. Bagel?"

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "No thank you. I will take a muffin though."

He popped his bagel slices in the toaster, and turned to her, handing her a blueberry muffin. "Mac, can I ask you a question? It's about Admiral Chegwidden's 4th of July party."

"Shoot." She pulled a piece of the muffin top off and popped it in her mouth.

"I know he said that we were welcome to bring our families. What about just a date?"

Mac raised an eyebrow and smiled. "You've met someone already? Boy, you move fast."

Sturgis laughed and shrugged. "What can I say. We met at an event at the Kennedy Center and hit it off immediately." The bagel popped up and he moved the slices from the toaster to his plate. "I think it's important to go, since I'm still fairly new around here. But I was really hoping to spend the evening with Bobbi."

Mac's eyes widened. He couldn't mean… "Bobbi? As in Bobbi Latham?"

"Yeah. Do you know her?"

She bit her lip and then nodded. "Yeah, we've met a few times." She tossed the muffin wrapper in the trash and picked up the plate and her coffee. "I think you should bring her. Not many people bring dates, simply because nearly everyone here is already married."

He nodded. "Okay, I will. Are you bringing anyone?"

"No." Harm had always been her date for office events. Even before they were dating. "This year it's just me." She forced a smile before taking her breakfast back to her office.

Sturgis frowned as he watched her leave. He liked Mac, and enjoyed her company. But she was a little odd every once in a while.

* * *

Mac sat down at her desk and turned on her computer. She opened her official email account to see if there was anything pressing, and when she saw there wasn't, she signed into her personal email and opened up a new message.

_To: HRabb1963_

_From: SarahMacKenzie _

_Re: Gossip_

_Good morning, handsome. Guess who Sturgis is bringing to the Admiral's 7/4 celebration? No guesses? I guess I'll tell you. He's bringing Bobbi. I haven't seen her in quite a while, but apparently they met at the Kennedy Center and hit it off instantly. It's a small world, isn't it? Anyways. I guess I should get to work. Have a great day. _

_S. _

Mac read over the email once more and then hit send. She had just started pulling files out of her briefcase when she heard the familiar ring of her cellphone. She abandoned the files and dug around in her purse, finally pulling out the phone. "Hello?"

"If I murder someone, can I count on you to represent me?"

Her eyebrow raised and she leaned back in her chair. "Haven't I already done that once?"

"Very funny."

She smiled. "What happened? Brumby is still here, as far as I know, so it can't be him this time."

Harm snorted. "No, this time it's Buxton. Excuse me, the X-Man." Her laughter lightened his mood and he smiled at the sound. "This kid is making me crazy, Mac. It doesn't help that I'm pretty damned sure he's the one responsible for the 'Pappy' call sign." She laughed again and this time he smiled. "I'm glad you find my suffering funny."

"It's a little funny. But don't kill the younger officers, Harm." She logged out of her personal email account and returned to her official one, and began sorting through them.

"I've been spoiled by the younger officers I've worked with recently. Skates is a great RIO. And Bud and Harriet set the bar pretty high. These guys are just jerks. I don't think I would have been friends with them 10 years ago."

"Bud had an amazing teacher. And by that`` I mean me. You were a bad influence." He actually laughed and she smiled. "Give it time. You'll get used to them, and then they won't bother you as much."

"I hope you're right." He looked down at his watch and saw he had a few more minutes. "So, Sturgis is dating Bobbi?"

She sat up a little straighter and gave him her full attention. "He is. He asked me if I thought it would be okay to bring her, since the invitation technically said families. I told him to bring her. And that I knew her."

"Did you – Does he-?"

She found his nervousness completely charming. "As far as I know he doesn't know about the two of you. I didn't tell him, and he didn't mention it."

"Should I tell him?

"I don't think so," she said. "He told me you were both horrible at staying in touch, and it was just a casual thing. Right?"

He smiled softly. "It was very casual." He leaned back against the wall and scanned the room. He was still alone. "So, are you taking anyone to the party?"

His voice was low & teasing, and just that tone sent warmth through her. "Not unless you want to fly one of those planes out here and be my date."

"God, I wish I could. I miss you."

"I miss you too." There was a tap on her door and she looked up. She held up one finger to Bud and then pointed at her phone. "I hate to do this, but I need to run. Bud is outside my door."

"Okay. I'll try to call again tonight when you get off. I love you."

"I love you too." She hung up and signaled to Bud that he could come in. "What's going on, Lieutenant?"

* * *

Mac arrived at the Admiral's home and found that almost the entire office was already there. She opened the back door of her car and pulled out two covered dishes and used her hip to push the door shut. She was walking up the front path when Sturgis and Bobbi spotted her and made their way over. He silently took a dish from her hands and waved off her gratitude with the other.

"Hey Mac," Bobbi started, "it's good to see you again."

Mac could hear the nervousness in the other woman's voice, and for the first time since they had met, the smile she gave her was genuine. "It's good to see you too." The three of them went into the house and sat the dishes on the counter with the other food and then went through the back door to join everyone in the yard.

"I'm going to go get a drink," he said, gesturing at the bar that had been set up. "Can I bring you two anything?"

"I'd love a bottle of water."

Bobbi glanced at the table and squinted a bit. "I think I see a bottle of tequila. If possible, I'd love a margarita. If not, just a beer." He nodded and they watched him walk away. Bobbi settled in a red Adirondack chair and looked up at Mac. "Have you talked to Harm since he's been gone?"

Mac blushed and quickly looked at her hands. She wiped off one of the other chairs and sat once she felt her face was back to its normal color. "We've kept in touch. He's ready to kill some of the younger pilots he's working with, but other than that he's doing good."

Bobbi laughed and looked over at Sturgis. He was talking to Tiner and looking through the various beer bottles in a massive blue tub. "I was floored when I first met Sturgis and he told me where he was working and who he had replaced. Harm's a great attorney, I just couldn't believe it."

She nodded. "I think we were all in disbelief when he made that announcement." She thought about her next words for a minute before finally settling on what she wanted to say. "Did Sturgis tell you that he and Harm were friends from the Academy?" Bobbi nodded and Mac leaned back in the char. "Harm's not going to say anything to him. I was catching him up on office gossip and told him about you & Sturgis. I don't think it's a big deal if he knows, but that's up to you."

"I know." Bobbi looked at him again and smiled. "I never understood why the two of you didn't get together."

She blushed again. "We worked together. And fought all the time."

Bobbi studied her. "That's exactly what he said when I asked him why." She noticed Sturgis approaching and their conversation ended.

Mac stood and took the bottle of water from him. "Thanks Sturgis. I'm going to go socialize a bit. I'll see you both later." She smiled and headed towards Bud & Harriet.

* * *

Mac slipped away when the fireworks started and found herself on the large porch. It was quiet and private, but she still had a view of the impressive show. She sat on one step and watched. Her solitude was short lived, and Mic approached her just a few minutes later.

"Flying solo tonight? Where's the mystery boyfriend?"

She looked at him briefly and then returned her attention to the fireworks. "Go away, Mic."

He sat next to her on the step. "I'm a lot of fun when you get to know me. You really should give me a chance."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I know enough. We're coworkers, Mic. That's all."

"There's something between us, Sarah. Why are you playing hard to get?" He leaned in to kiss her.

She realized what was happening a second before his lips could touch hers and she jumped up. "God, you're delusional. I was nice to you when we met, because I had no reason not to be. I've been nice at work, because other than the fact that I found your flirting annoying, I had no reason not to be. But I'm done being nice. Come near me again without a legitimate, professional reason and you will be very, very sorry."

"Mac, I-"

She shook her head. "From this point on you will only address me as Major MacKenzie. We are done here."

"Is everything okay?" They both turned and saw Tiner approaching them.

"Everything is fine, Tiner. Thank you." Mac smiled at him and started walking back into the yard. "Just a disagreement. I'm going to go see if it's my turn to hold Baby AJ." She walked away from the two men in a hurry, both watching her go.

"Leave her alone, Mic." Tiner said, his voice cool. He turned and followed Mac back to the party.

* * *

The ringing phone woke her up. She reached towards the nightstand and felt around for it, trying to keep from having to actually open her eyes. She gave up and opened her eyes once she had knocked some unknown object to the floor, and grabbed the phone. "Hello?"

"Did I wake you?" His voice was warm and appealing, and she woke up a little more.

"You did."

"Want me to let you go?"

She scoffed. "I'm already awake now."

He frowned, even though she couldn't see him. "You're not usually this irritable when I wake you up. Is everything okay?'

She sighed, and sat up a little. "I'm fine. It was a long night."

"Did the Admiral's party go long? Last year Bud and Tiner went a bit overboard with the fireworks display. I doubt that changed much this year."

She smiled at the memory of their excitement. Bud claimed to have gone overboard this year since it was the baby's first major holiday. And Harriet had smiled indulgently, knowing that this had nothing to do with their son. "Pretty spectacular display, as usual. The party went long, but it was good. Bobbi and Sturgis are absolutely perfect for one another. The baby was dressed in the little Navy outfit Carolyn and I found for him, and was absolutely adorable. Everyone had a good time."

He was quiet on his end. Something was off, he just couldn't put a finger on what it was. "What's wrong, Mac?"

She bit her lip, not really wanting to tell him. But she knew that honesty in a long-distance relationship was more important than anything else. "You were right about Mic. He's been trying to weasel his way into my life since you left. And tonight, he tried to kiss me."

The urge to punch someone had never in his life been as strong as it was at this moment. "What! Are you kidding me? What did you do?"

She took a breath. "I realized what he was doing before he could actually kiss me. I had needed some quiet, so I went to the porch to get away from everything for a few minutes. I guess he followed me." She told him about the brief conversation, the attempted kiss, her response, and then Tiner showing up. He was silent, and it was making her nervous. "Should I not have told you?"

"No, I'm glad you told me. I just really, really hate that guy."

"I know. I'm not too fond of him either."

He took a deep breath. "Mac, I know I'm going to sound like such a chauvinist when I say this, but I have to say it. Please be careful around him. Don't be alone with him if you can help it. I know its easy to say he's just persistent, but I don't trust him, and I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you."

"I know how to take care of myself," she started, "and part of taking care of myself means staying clear of bad situations. I'll be safe. I promise."

"Please do." He was quiet for a minute. "I love you. I need you to stay safe."

"I know. And I will. I do think he's harmless for the most part, but I won't be alone with him again if I can help it."

"Is our relationship still a secret around JAG?" She didn't say anything and he ran a hand through his hair. "I don't understand why this still needs to be a secret."

"It's not a total secret. The Admiral knows. Your parents know. Maddie and Ben know. I just want to keep my personal life and my professional life separate."

"It can't stay a secret forever."

"I know." She sighed. "Harm, the Admiral and I both think there's a chance you'll end up back here. And life will just be easier if that happens if people don't know we're a couple."

"I don't know where I'll end up career-wise."

His tone was gentle, and it made her want to scream. It made her feel like disappointment was around the corner. "I know."

They were both silent for a long moment. "Well, I guess I better get going. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Harm, I don't like leaving things like this." She took a deep breath. "If something were to happen today…" She trailed off, not needing to finish the thought.

"Sarah." He waited a second, trying to make sure he would say the right thing. "I want to tell everyone on the planet about us, but I do understand why you don't. I don't know where I'll end up career wise, but I know that as long as I have you, none of it really matters. I know you're capable of taking care of yourself, and I honestly think Mic would probably rather I punch him than you. And I love you."

She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I love you too."

"I know that too." He smiled when she laughed. "I'm going to hop off here. I have to fly soon. But I'll be safe, I promise. Go back to sleep."

"I will. Goodnight, Harm."

"Sweet dreams, Mac."

**End Part 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Notes:** A reviewer commented on the last part that they didn't like the long-distance romance… My husband is currently deployed, and I have to say I'm not a fan of long-distance relationships either =)

**Part 4**

"No. Absolutely not. That is not a deal. Commander Miller probably wouldn't get that much time if a jury actually found her guilty."

"Take it or leave it, Sturgis. That is the only thing I'm willing to offer."

A staffer looked up as Mac and Sturgis argued while walking to their offices and stood. "Excuse me, Major, Commander." The officers stopped in front of her desk. "Ma'am, I have a message for you from a Trish Burnett. Your voicemail is full again." She held out the pink message slip.

"Thank you." Mac took the slip and glanced at it. "I need to return this call, Sturgis. If you want to tell me no a few more times, you can do so in a few minutes. If you'd like, I can even teach you how to say no in Russian and Farsi." She smiled at the young woman and went into her office, shutting the door behind her. She picked up her phone and dialed. Trish answered before first ring had even finished.

"Mac! I'm so glad you got back to me so quickly."

"Hi Trish," she said with a smile, "I just got out of court. I'm sorry I missed your call. Is everything okay?"

"If my husband weren't such a workaholic, things would be better, but everything is fine here." Mac smiled as she heard Frank say something unintelligible in the background. "Anyway," Trish continued, "we were heading to Paris today for a couple of weeks, and Frank got talked into a meeting with a firm in DC. So now we're staying in DC overnight and leaving for Paris from Dulles in the morning, and I was hoping you'd be able to meet us for dinner tonight."

"Absolutely! What time?"

"Oh, whenever. Frank should be finished with his meeting around 5:00, so anytime after that."

Mac uncapped a pen and found a notepad in the chaos of her desk. "I could meet you at your hotel around 7:00, and we can just take it from there."

"Perfect! We're going to be at the Ritz Carlton on 22nd street."

She made a note on her notepad and recapped the pen. "Great. I can't wait to see the two of you."

"We're looking forward to it too. See you this evening, darling."

"Bye Trish." Mac ended the call and then dialed into her voicemail to clear out some of the messages. Someone knocked on her door and she glanced up and saw Sturgis. She sighed, hung up the receiver and waived him in. He sat in one of her chairs without saying a word. "What?"

"Isn't Trish Burnett Harm's mothers name?"

She took a deep breath. "Yes." Neither of them said anything for a minute, and then Mac finally broke the silence. "Is Harm's mom not allowed to call me?"

"Of course she is. Is Harm okay? He's not married, so if something were to happen, she'd be notified first."

Mac straightened in her chair. "Harm is fine."

He continued to stare at her. "So, his mom just calls his former partner for no reason?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "She had a reason, but I can't figure out how this concerns you at all."

"According to Brumby you have a mystery boyfriend. He seems convinced it's John something or the other."

"John Farrow." She took a deep breath. "And Mic Brumby is an idiot."

"Well yeah, I've realized that." He grinned as her face finally relaxed and she smiled slightly. "Are you dating Harm?"

Her smile slipped and she looked at her hands. She looked back up at him. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes." And he smiled as she nodded. "How long have you been seeing each other? Why are you keeping it a secret?"

"A few months." She looked out into the bullpen and then back at him. "Last year was one hell of a year, and the gossip mill here was more or less just stories about me. We were all at McMurphy's one night and Carolyn Imes and Jordan, the woman Harm was dating, asked me what I thought of his sexual prowess. We weren't dating but everyone just assumed that we were sleeping together every time we were sent out of the country on an investigation. Can you imagine the comments and questions I'd get if they actually knew we were?"

He nodded. "That makes sense. I don't blame you for keeping it to yourself. Does anyone know?"

"The Admiral does. But as far as I know, that's it."

"I won't say anything. But thank you for telling me. I've noticed you're a little odd when Harm is mentioned, and now that makes sense."

Mac laughed and then sighed. "Yeah. It's hard to be casual when people ask about him. They ask how he's doing, and it takes all I have not to overwhelm them with information. Or they ask if we keep in touch and I think about our late-night phone calls and the emails throughout the day."

"Well, if you ever want to overwhelm someone with those details, I'm here." He stood up and headed to the door.

"Thank you, Sturgis. I really appreciate it."

* * *

Mac worked later than she intended, and rushed home to shower and change before heading to the Ritz Carlton. She showered quickly, wrapped her hair in a towel and pulled on a pair of white skinny jeans and a pale pink top with lace cap sleeves. She dried and styled her hair, applied makeup, and switched the essentials from the large purse she carried to work into a small camel colored leather clutch. The Corvette needed gas, so she grabbed the keys to Harm's SUV and left her apartment.

She was only two minutes late when she arrived. Being late was unusual for her, but considering how late it was when she left JAG, she decided that was a victory. She stopped by the concierge desk and asked for the Burnett's room. The young woman smiled and checked her name against a list before telling her the room number, and the quickest route to an elevator. A few minutes later she was standing in front of their door and knocked lightly. Trish opened the door and instantly pulled her into an embrace.

"It is so good to see you," Trish said. She pulled back after a moment, and placed her hands on her shoulders. "You look absolutely wonderful. Please, come in." She backed into the room and Mac followed her in. "Frank is getting dressed now, so we'll be ready to go in just a few minutes." Mac walked over to the wall of massive windows and took in the view. Trish studied her for a minute and then walked over to stand beside her. "How are you doing, Mac? Really."

She turned away from the windows and smiled. "I'm doing okay. I miss him."

"Do you have the chance to talk a lot?"

Mac nodded. "We do. He usually gets up early to call me before I go to bed. And then we email a few times a day. I can't imagine what it must have been like 30 years ago without email and cell phones."

Trish offered her a sad smile. "Those tapes that his father sent were everything to me. I would go weeks without hearing his voice, and then I would get a tape and everything made sense again. Hearing his voice soothed my soul." She reached over and squeezed Mac's hand. "I don't think I've thanked you for helping Harm find out the truth about what happened. Thank you so much for helping him and for being there with him."

Mac squeezed her hand back. "There is nothing I wouldn't do for him."

Frank walked into the room and both women looked up. The expression on his face made Mac think he had been listening to their conversation, and he offered her a gentle smile. "Mac, hello! It's great to see you." She stood and took a few steps to embrace him. He pulled back after a moment and kissed her cheek. "You look as lovely as ever."

She blushed and smiled. "Thank you, Frank."

"Shall we?" Trish stood and grabbed her purse off of the coffee table. "Mac, I made a reservation at an Italian restaurant a few blocks from here that came highly recommended. Is that okay?"

Mac nodded. "Sounds wonderful. I brought Harm's SUV, if you'd like me to drive."

"That's perfect," Frank said, "we've been taking taxis all day." He opened the door and the three of them left for dinner.

* * *

Several hours, and a few pounds of pasta and tiramisu later, Frank and Trish were back at their hotel and Mac was walking back into her apartment. She tossed her clutch onto the kitchen counter and headed to her bedroom to change. She threw her clothes into the laundry basket and pulled on a t-shirt of Harm's and a pair of shorts. She collapsed onto the couch and pulled the throw off of the back of the couch to cover her legs. She picked up the book she had been reading, and then tossed it aside and reached for her computer instead. She logged into her personal email account and smiled when she saw an email from Harm.

_To: SarahMacKenzie_

_From: HRabb1963_

_Re: Daydream_

_Hey there, _

_I found myself daydreaming about us during my briefing this afternoon. It could have been embarrassing, but thankfully I had a helmet to keep in my lap. So, the memory that I couldn't get out of my head was the bathroom at McMurphy's. I know that wasn't one of our finest moments, but it was still incredibly sexy. I am really, really ready to be home and since I've only been here a little over a month, that's kind of problematic. I miss you and love you. _

_H. _

The memory made her face heat. She hit reply and her fingers were hovering over the keys when her phone rang. She reached for it and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey there."

Mac smiled at the sound of his voice and hoped that the warmth that spread through her when she heard his voice never went away. "Hey." She closed her laptop and set it aside. "Perfect timing, I was just about to respond to your email. And why are you awake so early?"

"I woke up early so I could talk to you a little longer. And should I let you go so you can respond to the email?" His voice was low and teasing.

She smiled and leaned into the pillows. "I'd much rather respond to you than the email."

He groaned. "Mac, there is nothing I'd like more than to have phone sex with you, but I'm in a public area."

She laughed. "I know that. I'm not going to start talking about all the things I want you to do to me." She laughed as he groaned again. "But I am going to say that I've been thinking about that night a lot lately." She reached for her book and pulled out the photo she had been using as a bookmark. It was the photo that Sturgis had found in Harm's desk. "Sturgis' first day at JAG he found a photo of us with Bud & Harriet from that night in your desk. He gave it to me." She stared at the photo for a minute and bit her lower lip. "I told him about us."

His eyes widened. "Sturgis? Seriously?"

"I didn't want to, but he found out your mom called me, and he point blank asked. I didn't want to lie, so I told him. I feel like I can trust him not to gossip about us."

"You can trust him. And mom called you? Is everything okay?"

"It is. She and Frank were in DC for the evening before heading to Paris, and she wanted to see if I could join them for dinner. I actually just got home a few minutes ago." She tucked the photo back in the book and set it back on the table. "They both send their love."

"Thank you for spending time with them," he said softly. "I know it really means a lot to her."

"You don't need to thank me for that. I enjoy being with them. They're both wonderful people."

"You're wonderful." He leaned against the wall and was quiet for a moment. "I need to ask you something."

She stretched out her legs and admired the purple polish on her toes. "Shoot."

"Mac, is this working for you? Are we working?"

Her heart quickened. Was he asking because it wasn't working for him? Was he having second thoughts? Was the distance and the lack of intimacy too much? "Why are you asking me this, Harm? Is it not working for you?"

"One of the pilots I fly with found out yesterday that his wife has been having an affair. He thought they were solid. He thought she was doing fine with the distance. Apparently, she wasn't. And I realized I haven't asked how you're doing with the distance." His voice tightened and he took a deep breath. "I want you to be happy, and if you're not please tell me. If you need more than what I can give you, please tell me."

"Harm, I'm as happy as I can be." He started to say something, and she continued quickly. "I miss you. I'm not going to be completely happy when you're half a world away. But I'm doing okay."

"So, this is working for you?"

She smiled. "Sweetheart, it's going to work a lot better when we're in the same time zone, but this is working. Your mom was talking about your dad's tapes tonight. She said she'd get one and hearing his voice would soothe her soul. Every time I pick up the phone and hear your voice on the other end, I feel warmth spreading through me. It's a good feeling. No one else has ever made me feel that way."

"Mac-"

"Harm, a little of you is a lot better than a whole lot of anyone else." He was quiet and she listened to the silence for a minute. "Are you still there?"

"I'm here." He was quiet for another minute. "Mac?"

"Yes?"

"If you keep this up, I'm definitely going to propose to you the next time I see you."

She snorted. "Don't you dare, Flyboy." She hesitated for a minute and then asked, "Is this working for you?"

He took a deep breath. "I don't think anything has ever worked this well. I hate being apart, but loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done." Her intake of breath was shaky, and he gripped the phone tighter.

"You're getting really, really good at expressing how you feel. That was even better than what was in the note."

He laughed. "For some reason it's not hard to express myself with you."

"Keep it up, okay? It makes the distance easier."

"I will." He saw a couple of guys walk into the room and he cursed under his breath.

"What's wrong?"

Harm sighed and checked his watch. "I'm not alone anymore. A few people just walked in."

Mac cleared her throat. "Well, I guess you better get going."

"I guess so." He remembered something she had said earlier and smiled. "Sweetheart, huh?"

She blushed. "It just slipped out."

"I liked it. Goodnight, gorgeous. I love you."

"I love you, too. Fly safe." She sat the phone back on the cradle. She stood up and headed to her bedroom, turning off lights along the way. She crawled into her bed and stared at the ceiling. Today had been a big day. Between telling Sturgis, seeing Trish and Frank, and that conversation. Their relationship felt a little more real. It felt a little more permanent. And that was a really, really good feeling.

**End Part 4**


	5. Chapter 5

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Notes:** It's not going to be apart of this story, because I always thought the plots with him were a little ridiculous, but Clay does safely return from Central America. Also, this story lays a little groundwork for something serious that's coming up: Mac's promotion and her decision not to tell Harm about it.

**Part 5**

Mac walked into the Admiral Chegwidden's office and inwardly groaned. The Admiral wasn't alone. A younger man in a gray suit was leaning against one of the leather chairs. Clayton Webb. Webb in this office never meant anything good, and she directed her gaze to her CO.

"Come on in, Mac." The Admiral dropped a pen on the desk and leaned back in his own chair. "Webb, get to your point quickly." They waited for her to take a seat in on of the chairs.

"Mac, we have an issue I'm going to need your help with." He sat down next to her and proceeded to tell her about an Iranian arms dealer and a mission in Central America that sounded far too complicated. When he finished, she stared at him for a moment before turning her attention to the Admiral.

"Sir, is this an order? Do I have to do this?"

He raised an eyebrow, and simply shook his head. "Absolutely not."

She nodded and turned her attention back to Webb. "No."

His eyes widened. "Excuse me? Mac, I need your help here. You understand the language, you know how to take care of yourself, and I can trust you."

She narrowed her eyes. "No, you want my help here. There is a difference. Webb, there has to be one female agent at the CIA who knows Farsi. If not, have a few call me and I'll teach it to them. But I'm absolutely not doing this."

"Of course there are, but I don't trust any of them as much as I trust you"

"Webb, that's not my problem. I am a Marine, and a lawyer. I'm not a CIA agent. I do not work for you." She stood and took a few steps away from him. "Not to mention, every single time Harm and I have helped you out in the past, the missions have gone straight to hell. And if things go that badly with my partner there to watch my back, there is no way I'm doing something like this without him."

Webb stepped toward her. "Mac, I'll be there to watch your back."

Mac shook her head. "That really doesn't make me feel any better. There are only a few people I trust as much as I trust Harm, and you do not make that list."

"Admiral, please–" Webb started, and stopped when he was cut off.

"You heard her, Webb. This is not a part of her job description, and I'm not going to force her to do this. I know that my people are the best, but you need to start using & trusting your own people."

"Sir, if that's all I have a ton of work I need to get back to."

"Dismissed, Major." He smiled as she turned and hurried out of the room. Webb stared after her for a minute, and then hurried out of the office after her.

* * *

"Mac, wait." Webb closed his hand around her wrist, and stopped her from disappearing into her office. She spun around, and jerked her arm from his grasp.

Sturgis noticed the commotion, and stepped out of his office and approached them. "Is there a problem, Mac?"

She smiled at him and shook her head. "Nothing I can't handle." She gestured to Webb. "Sturgis, this is Clayton Webb. If he ever asks for a favor, say no. Webb, this is Commander Sturgis Turner." The two men warily shook hands. "Webb, we'll talk in my office."

He followed her in and looked back out into the bullpen. Sturgis was talking to a younger officer, his eyes glancing up at her office every so often. "Mac, I really need your help on this."

She shook her head. "I just told you that you do not. You want my help. And I'm not willing to give it anymore. It always ends badly for me, and I'm done."

"Mac-"

She raised her hand and cut him off. "Stop right there. I'm not doing it, Webb. If you need me to say it in other languages I will. But the answer is no." She sighed at the slight slump of his shoulders and took a deep breath. "I'm pretty busy, so if there is nothing else…" She trailed off, hoping he would turn around and leave.

"Have dinner with me?"

Her eyes widened and stood up so quickly she nearly knocked her chair over. "You can't be serious."

He frowned. "You're an impressive woman. Of course, I'm serious."

"Please tell me that's not why you tried to get me involved in this mission?" He shrugged, and she let out an exasperated sigh. "Clay, if I don't trust you enough to work with you, why would you think I'd go out with you?"

"If we spent more time together you could learn to trust me."

She shook her head. "I know you, and I don't see myself ever trusting you. I'm also seeing someone, so going out with you would be inappropriate."

"You're seeing someone? Who? Since when?"

She met his eyes for a moment and then sat back down. "None of your business." She gestured at the stack of files. "Webb, I have a lot of work to do."

He smirked. "It's Rabb, isn't it.

"Go away. You need to track down a female agent who can take care of herself and understands Farsi."

He waved her off and sat down in one of her chairs. "We have plenty of those. You and Rabb, huh? Took you long enough." He grinned as she pointedly ignored him. After a minute of watching her read, he stood up and headed to her door. "He's a lucky man."

She looked up at him and smiled. His usual arrogance was missing from his tone, and his smile was genuine. "Take care of yourself, Clay." He nodded, and left her office.

* * *

"You busy?"

Harm looked up from the rice he was pushing around his plate and shook his head. Skates pulled out a chair and sat, and he pulled the stack of folders out of her space.

"Are you okay?"

He took a deep breath and put the fork down. "Honestly?" She nodded. "I don't know."

She pulled a handful of Hershey's Kisses out of her pocket and slid one towards him. "What's going on? You've been acting a little off lately. I'm kind of worried."

"I don't know. I'm just feeling a little out of place."

Skates unwrapped a chocolate and popped it in her mouth. "How so?

He shrugged. "I had started feeling restless as a lawyer. And when I found out my vision problems were misdiagnosed and I could change my designator, it felt like a sign. Now I'm here, and I'm feeling restless all over again." He stabbed at the overcooked piece of chicken and put the fork down again. "I miss Mac. I'm frustrated with Buxton, and guys like Buxton. I'm just tired. And… restless."

She took a deep breath. "Are you going to go back?

He shook his head. "That's the problem, Skates. I don't know what I want. I just know I'm not happy, and I'm tired of pretending that I am."

"Have you talked to Mac about any of this?" She frowned as he shook his head. "Why not?"

"She and Admiral Chegwidden both think I'm going to end up back at JAG once I get this out of my system. I don't want to tell her that I'm feeling restless and get her hopes up."

Skates shook her head. "That's not how things work, Harm. You need to tell her what is going through your head. She's a smart woman. She'll start to realize something is going on with you." She placed her hand on his arm. "Go call her."

He nodded and subtly shifted his arm away from her hand. The last thing he needed was any kind of gossip about something going on between him & his RIO.

* * *

**_The Next Morning_**

Mac could hear the phone ringing inside her apartment as she fumbled with her keys. She finally got the door unlocked and hurried over to the phone. "Hello?"

"Mac? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, hold on one second." She sat the phone back on the table and went into her bedroom. She stripped off her sweaty running clothes and pulled a bathrobe on. She ran back to the phone and collapsed on the couch, folding her legs under her. "I'm back."

"Is everything okay?"

"It is. I just finished a run and I needed to get out of those clothes. I always forget how miserable summer in DC is. The heat and humidity about killed me, and the sun's barely up."

Harm bit back and groan and leaned back in his chair. "You're killing me, Mac."

She laughed. "I'm drenched in sweat, and not really all that appealing right now. The celibacy must really be getting to you."

"Mac, I've been gone for three months. I think the celibacy got to me at least two and a half months ago." She laughed and he smiled. "So, what are you wearing?"

She snorted and looked down at the bathrobe. "Do you want the honest answer or a sexy answer?"

"With you any answer is the sexy answer." He closed his eyes and thought back to the last morning he spent with her before their separation started. "I miss you, Mac. I really, really miss you."

She frowned slightly. "Harm, is everything okay? I miss you too, but you don't sound like yourself."

"I'm just tired." He fidgeted with his Academy ring and sighed.

"Where are you?"

"The legal room."

"Has something happened?"

He shook his head out of habit. "No, nothing has happened. I'm just feeling down. I'm tired of guys like Buxton. I'm tired of watching our godson grow up through photos. I'm tired of dry chicken. And I miss you so much. I thought it would get easier, but it's getting -"

"Harm." Her voice was gentle, and it instantly got his attention. "Are you wanting to come back to JAG?"

He barked out a bitter laugh. "I knew you were going to ask that. Skates was grilling me about my mood over dinner, and I told her that I hadn't talked to you about all of this because you might get your hopes up that I would end up back at JAG."

"Wait, what?" She narrowed her eyes, and then squeezed the bridge of her nose with her thumb & forefinger. "You're unhappy, and you told Skates before talking to me? What the hell, Harm?"

"Seriously?" He frowned and sat up straighter. "I call you to talk about how frustrated I am with everything right now and you're mad that I spoke to someone else about it first? Are you mad that I spoke to someone else, or spoke to another woman? Aren't you being a little selfish, Mac?"

"It would be selfish if this were 30 years ago, and it took weeks to get a letter to me. But I'm a phone call away. Do you realize I never let my cell phone out of sight, in case you call? For three months I have been permanently attached to my phone in case you needed anything. I take it to the bathroom with me. I sleep with it next to my head. You can reach me at any time, and instead of talking to me about your frustrations and challenges, you turn to someone else? That hurts, Harm." She took a deep breath, and turned away from her windows, and leaned back against the cool glass.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Some of this stuff is just easier to talk to other people about. They're pretty much strangers who have no investment in my life. I feel like they can be more neutral." He waited for her to say something, but she didn't. "Mac, it's just harder to be here than I thought it would be."

She took a deep breath. "If it's so hard, then why do it? You don't need to prove anything to anyone. If you would rather be a lawyer than a pilot, there's nothing wrong with that."

"I don't know if I want to be a lawyer." He was quiet for a minute. "Other than you, I don't know what I want anymore."

"You have me."

Harm took a deep breath. "And you have no idea how thankful I am for that." He watched the planes on the screensaver fly across the computer screen. "I just wish I knew what else I wanted. I'm worried I'm going to want to switch back and forth between a lawyer and a pilot for the rest of my life."

"When did you start feeling this way?"

"God, I don't even know."

She sat back down and pulled her knees up. "Close your eyes, sweetheart. And just relax. If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?"

He laughed softly, and did as he was told. He closed his eyes and all he saw was her. "Mac, all I see is you. All I want to do is be with you."

She smiled to herself. "Well, I'm not going anywhere. So close them again. What else do you see."

He sighed and did as he was asked again. She was there again, but this time she was reading to a little girl in a hammock. The hammock was in the large yard or a beautiful house. "Mac, it's still just you. Well, you and a little girl. And hammock in the nice back yard of a very nice house. That's all I see."

"A little girl, huh?"

He smiled. "Well, yeah. Your looks and my brains. She'll be perfect."

She laughed. "God help us all."

"I'm sorry I talked to Skates about all of this before talking to you. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know. I'm sorry I got upset." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Harm, it doesn't matter to me if you're a pilot or a lawyer. I don't care if you want to resign your commission and become an alpaca farmer. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm warning you, if you keep talking like this, I will propose the second I see you again."

She laughed again. "I'd rather you didn't."

He grew serious again. "Can I ask why? Isn't that what we both want?"

"Someday it is," she started, "but I'm not ready yet." She took a deep breath. "Harm, my entire life I've moved too fast with men. Considering we had sex before we ever went on a date, it could be argued that the pattern continued with you. I don't want to move that fast with you. I want us to take our time and get to know one another."

"Mac, we've known each other for years."

"I know. But not like this. This is different, Harm. I've never been in a relationship like this and I just want to enjoy this time together before we hurry on to the next step."

He nodded, understanding completely where she was coming from. "I'm still going to tease you about proposing the next time I see you."

She laughed again, and the sound was a balm for his soul. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

"And just for the record, I've never had a relationship like this either," he said with a smile.

"I know. Can I offer you a suggestion, in regard to the career thing?"

He sighed lightly. "Of course."

"Take your time with that, too. The fact of the matter is that you have two months and some change left on this deployment. Take that time and try to remember why you love this and wanted to get back to it. Don't focus on the guys you work with so much. Just think about your love of being in that cockpit. If you still feel restless when it's over, talk to Admiral Chegwidden about coming back. Or have Bud look up how to start an alpaca farm."

"You're right."

She smiled broadly. "I'm always right."

He responded with a snort. "Right." He leaned back in the chair again and looked away from the screensaver. "So how was your day yesterday? I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to call."

"That's okay. Well, it started with a visit from Webb and a request to accompany him on a mission as his pregnant wife. And when I said no to that he asked me on a date." She smiled at the choking sound he made, and told him about Webb's visit, and her refusal on both counts. She told him about the Admiral's increasing frustration with the condition of the office since Harriet had been out, and Mic's improved behavior since the 4th of July party. He'd been quiet for a while and she stopped talking. "Harm? Are you still there?

"I'm here."

She could hear the exhaustion in his voice. "You should go get some sleep."

"I know. It's been a while since we've been able to talk this long."

She smiled. "I know. We'll have to do it again soon. Go get some sleep, Flyboy."

"Yes ma'am. I love you, Mac."

"I love you too. Sweet dreams."

**End Part 5**


	6. Chapter 6

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Notes:** These next few parts will deal with the beginning of season 5, but obviously will be pretty different than what aired. For example, Buxton is going to be more of a jerk, and Harm will be less of one.

**Part 6**

**Thursday**

Mac stood in the bathroom at JAG and stared at her reflection. The gold oak leaves she had worn as a major had been replaced with new and shiny silver ones. She reached up and rubbed a finger over one of the pins. After the Article 32 & Admiral Chegwidden's withdrawal of his recommendation for an accelerated promotion, she was sure it would be a while before this would happen. She smiled at her reflection, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and headed back to her office. She opened up her personal email, and smiled when she saw a new message from Harm.

_From: HRabb1936_

_To: SarahMacKenzie_

_Re: _

_Hey gorgeous, _

_Sorry I didn't get a chance to call last night. Things with Buxton have been a little out of control lately. First this week there was the fueling issue. Then there were the charges he's trying to bring against his plane captain. I'm pretty sure I can take care of those. Griggs is a good guy – he's definitely too good to work with Buxton. I hope to God I was better behaved when I was his age. I may need to find out what working with me was like, and start sending out apology cards. I know that he wants to be in the middle of the action, but it's like I told him the other day: we're the good guys, and the good guys don't shoot first. _

_I am sorry I missed our call. These days talking to you is the only think that makes me feel sane. Not being able to talk to you these last couple of days has me a little on edge. I don't think that's helping my relationship with Buxton._

_Anyways. I'll do my best to call tonight. I love you so much, and I miss you. _

_H. _

She sighed as she clicked the reply option. Her fingers hovered over the keys and she bit her lower lip.

_Hey Handsome, _

_Don't worry about missing our calls. I miss hearing your voice, but I know sometimes things like this are out of our control. I've never met Buxton, but I can't imagine you were anything like the guy you've been describing to me. I know you can be a little… over confident at times, but I can't see you ever being a flat out jerk or being disrespectful to lesser mortals. You're a good man, Harm. Don't forget that. Hopefully we can talk soon. I love you & miss you too. _

_M._

She hit send, logged out, and returned to her work. She would tell him her news as soon as things had calmed down.

* * *

Mac unlocked the door to her apartment and was barely inside when she started taking off her uniform. It was a long day, but a good one. And she was in desperate need of the longest bubble bath on record. She turned on the faucet to start filling the tub & added a generous pour of lemongrass scented bubble bath. She finished taking off her clothes, laying her uniform pieces carefully over the closed toilet, and tossing her bra & panties into a small laundry basket she kept in the bottom of the linen closet. She lowered herself into the tub and leaned back against the inflatable bath pillow. She had just closed her eyes when she heard the phone ring. She groaned and reached for the cordless model she had brought with her into the bathroom. "Hello?"

"You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice."

Mac sat up quickly. The movement caused her legs to slip from the edge of the tub, resulting in a large splash. She sputtered as the water hit her face, and she swiped the bubbles away.

"Mac? Are you okay? What's going on?"

She leaned back against the pillow again and propped her legs back up. "I'm here. Sorry about that. I'm in the tub and just splashed water on my face." She heard his groan and smiled. "Something wrong, Flyboy?" She couldn't keep the teasing tone out of her voice.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. "That visual is going to keep me going for the next few days. So, thank you for that. What do the bubbles smell like?"

"Lemongrass." She brought her arm to her face and sniffed. "And a hint of ginger."

He sighed. "That's a really nice smell. It's perfect for you." Harm glanced at his watch and took note of the date. "Mac, how long have I been out here?"

She was quiet for a moment. "Three months and twenty days." She was quiet for another moment, waiting for him to respond. "Sweetheart, is everything okay?"

"Buxton." His voice was quiet. "Mac, this kid is going to get himself or someone else killed." He took a deep breath and told her about the admiral from the Russian Navy, the spy plane, and Buxton going after the lone MIG. "I just don't know what to do," he said when he had finished telling her about his day. "He's selfish and irresponsible. He lacks judgement. He's so desperate to see actual action."

"There's nothing you can do," Mac started. "You've tried to mentor him, but he wants none of it. He thinks he's invincible. He's going to have to learn these lessons the hard way."

"You mean like I did?"

"Harm- "

"Mac, I know you said you can't imagine any similarities between Buxton and I. But I was a lot like him when I was younger. And look what happened to me. Being around him just reminds me of how stupid I was when I was his age." He ran a hand through his dark hair and sighed. "I just really, really hope that he learns his lesson without killing anyone. Or getting himself and his RIO killed."

They were both silent for a long moment. She looked over at the toilet and noticed the new insignia on her top. She didn't want to tell him her news now. Not like this. Not when he was so stressed out and seemingly unhappy.

"Are you there?"

"I'm here," she said. "I really hate that you're so unhappy."

He snorted. "You and me, both. Mac, I know I'm not a lot of fun to talk to these days. But it will get better, I promise."

"Harm, I'm not going anywhere. I promise. You'll get through this rough patch; we'll make it through this deployment and things will be better."

"You promise?"

There was a slight tremble in his voice and it caused her to sit up in the tub again. She wasn't used to this side of him, and it unsettled her. She felt the overwhelming urge to wrap her arms around him and bury her face in his neck. "I promise. Harm, we're going to have hard times. It's going to happen. But I'm not going anywhere."

"I am so in love with you, Sarah."

She closed her eyes, wanting to remember the way his voice sounded just then. "I love you too." She heard commotion in the background, and then a groan. "What's going on?"

He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "Oh, just the equivalent of a fraternity house making their presence known. I guess I should hop off here."

They said their goodbyes and Mac hung up the phone. She was about to drop it on her folded towel when it rang again.

"Hey Mac, it's Maddie."

Mac smiled at the sound of her friend's cheerful voice. "Hey Maddie. What's going on?"

"I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks. You should have dinner with Ben and I this weekend."

"How are you and Ben doing?"

"We're doing really, really well. He's almost too good to be true."

Mac laughed, "I'm sure he thinks the same thing about you."

"He better! So. Come out with us this weekend. Friday night we're going to party at the Dean's office to kick off the upcoming school year and Sunday I have to work. Are you free Saturday?"

"I'm actually not." She took a breath. "I got promoted today. It was pretty unexpected, but I'm having an impromptu wet-down Saturday night."

"What's a wet-down? It sounds dirty. And congratulations!"

Mac's laughed loudly. "Not eve a little bit dirty. It's a small party at a bar for other officers. We all usually just go to McMurphy's. It'll last an hour or two, and the promoted person uses the difference in their old salary and new salary to buy everyone a few rounds of drinks."

Maddie scoffed. "So, the person who is being celebrated has to pay for everyone's drinks? The military is so odd sometimes."

"Tell me about it," she said. "It won't run long. Why don't you and Ben come by, and then we can go grab dinner afterward."

"Are you sure we won't be intruding?"

"Of course not. And it's my party, so who cares if you're intruding. We're meeting at 6:00."

"We'll be there," Maddie said. "See you Saturday."

* * *

Saturday Night

Mac sat at a table with Sturgis and Bobbi, and smiled as Bud stood up to give the toast & pointed his beer in her direction.

"I remember the first day I met Colonel MacKenzie. I honestly thought she was a little scary. She was quiet and reserved. And I was pretty intimidated, but I was in awe of her. And I still am all these years later. She has been an incredible mentor and friend to Harriet and I, and she's such a wonderful godmother to our son. Congratulations, Colonel." He raised his glass, and the rest of their party followed suit.

Mac stood and walked over to him. She pulled him into a hug. When she pulled back, she noticed his pink cheeks and laughed. "Thank you, Bud." She turned to the rest of the group. "Thank you all for coming tonight with such short notice. It means a lot to have you all here, and I'm so thankful that I get to work with a group of people that I like as much as I like all of you." She raised her own glass of water. "Cheers."

She took her seat again and heard the bar door open. She glanced at the door and noticed Maddie & Ben arrive. She waved at them, and smiled as Maddie grabbed Ben's hand and pulled him over. Mac stood, and laughed as Maddie hugged her. She released her after a minute and smiled as Ben pulled her into his arms.

When they separated, he took a step back and looked her over. She wore a pale green sundress with the most delicate straps imaginable. "You look incredible, Mac. Getting promoted agrees with you." He glanced at his girlfriend and noticed she was engrossed in a conversation with the couple Mac had been sitting with. "Come with me to get drinks."

"Okay."

Ben ran his fingers over Maddie's bare shoulder. "Mac and I are going to get drinks. What can I get you?"

She looked up at him and pointed at Bobbi's drink. "Whatever that is."

Bobbi lifted her nearly empty glass. "It's a caipiroska, but with grapefruit vodka. Would you mind getting me another?"

Ben shook his head, and he and Mac headed to the bar. She perched herself on a barstool and smiled as the bartender poured her another tonic water, and then took Ben's order. He went to work on the drinks and Ben turned to look her. "Maddie is pissed at me."

Mac's eyes widened. "What happened? You're not still making your way around the under-30 female population of Georgetown, are you?"

He grimaced. "I'm not, but last night at the university party she met a few of the women I had… dated. So that of course resulted in a conversation about the number of women between her and my ex."

Mac gave him a sympathetic smile. "Well, I understand why she's upset. That was a lot of women, Ben."

"I know." He spun the coaster around and sighed. "I should have told her about that phase of my life, but I was just worried about scaring her off." He shook his head, as if shaking the thoughts away. "Anyway. How are things with Harm?"

She took a deep breath. "Well, in the spirit of not telling our significant others things, Harm doesn't know about my promotion yet." Ben raised an eyebrow, and she offered him a wry smile. "I wanted to tell him, and we haven't talked much the past few days."

Ben cocked his head to the side and studied her. "You haven't talked much, meaning you've talked some. So why haven't you told him?"

She looked at him and smiled sadly. "He's not happy, Ben. He's frustrated with the guys he flies with. He's feeling restless. He's not really sure about anything career wise right now. I just feel like telling him could be cruel. I can just imagine him calling after another frustrating day and telling him my news."

"Mac, why in the world would he not want to hear it?"

She shrugged. "It's not just the promotion, Ben. For starters, I now out rank him. That doesn't really matter, but it's a new facet to our relationship. But mostly I don't want to come off as insensitive. I got a promotion I didn't think I would get for a long time, and I'm excited about that. I'm proud of that. I'm just nervous. I don't want to put him in even more of a funk."

Ben reached over and draped his arm around her shoulders. He squeezed lightly. "Mac, Harm loves you. He is proud of you. He'll be excited for you." He grinned at her, and she couldn't help but smile. "He's your biggest cheerleader. I can't even count the number of times he and I met for a drink and he gushed about something you'd said or done. He's in awe of you."

She blushed and looked down at her water. "Thank you, Ben."

He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Anytime, Mac."

* * *

When Mac finally walked in the door hours later, she was exhausted but happier than she had been in a while. Once the group from the office had started to head home, those that were left had headed to dinner. Bobbi and Maddie had hit it off instantly, so she and Sturgis joined them. Maddie then turned on her charm with the admiral and talked him in to coming joining them as well. She had just began changing into her pajamas when the phone rang. Considering the hour, she knew the call had to be important, and hurried to the phone.

"Colonel, this is Admiral Chegwidden."

She took a deep breath. "Yes sir. Is everything okay?"

He signed. "Unfortunately, no. I just received a call from the SECNAV. There was an issue on the Patrick Henry." He must have heard her gasp, and hurried to reassure her. "Harm is fine, Mac. A Lieutenant Buxton has been charged with killing three Russian peacekeepers. The SECNAV wants you to prosecute. Be at the office in the morning at 0900. He's meeting us there, and we'll give you all of the information you need."

"Of course, sir."

"Mac, I- " He took another deep breath, "I hope Commander Rabb being there isn't going to be an issue."

"No sir. We'll both behave with the utmost professionalism. You have my word, sir."

"Thank you, Mac. I'll see you in the morning. Sorry to ruin the remainder of your weekend."

She smiled and said her goodbyes. She sat down on the arm of the sofa and closed her eyes. This was going to be a giant mess.

**End Part 6. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Notes:** These next few parts will deal with the beginning of season 5, but obviously will be pretty different than what aired. Buxton is going to be more of a jerk, and Harm will be less of one. Also, I know Season 5 Mac had short hair, but I loved her longer hair in later seasons. So, while we're pretending that the clothing trends in this story are what they currently are, we're also going to pretend that Mac has longer hair.

**Part 7**

"Commander Rabb, may I have a second please?"

Harm spun around and saw Lieutenant Aldridge heading towards him. "Of course, Lieutenant. What's going on?"

He pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket. "SECNAV is sending a JAG lawyer from DC out here today to prosecute Buxton. I'm technically supposed to meet her and show her around. I'm swamped and I figured since it was someone you probably know, it might be better if you did it."

Harm went completely still. "A lawyer from DC?" He felt his heart rate quicken. "What's her name?"

Aldridge glanced at the slip of paper. "Her name is Sarah MacKenzie. Do you know her?"

His heart beat faster and he took a moment to regain his composure. "Yes, of course. She and I worked together for a few years." He cleared his throat. "I'll be happy to meet her and show her around. What time will she arrive?"

Aldridge handed Harm the slip of paper. "Later this afternoon. All of her details are here. Thank you, sir."

"I'm happy to help." He watched the younger man walk away and took a minute to regain his composure before heading back to work. She was on a plane out here. Well that explained why she hadn't answered last night when he had called, seeing as how it was at least a fourteen hour flight.

The next few hours were the longest of his life. It seemed like a lifetime before the hands on his watch were in the desired position, and he was donning the required safety gear and heading to the flight deck. He anxiously waited for the helicopter to land, and as soon as it had touched down he started making his way to it. He watched as the door was opened and she appeared in the doorway. Even wearing the ridiculous helmet and goggles, he knew it was her.

He quickened his pace and reached her just moments after she was on the ground. She took a step toward him was immediately in his arms, tightening her own around him. They stood like that for a long moment, before both became aware of the people going about their business around them. He reluctantly pulled back, letting his hands linger on her waist for one more moment. He was aware that they were standing on the flight deck, staring at one another with awed, slightly ridiculous expressions, and he absolutely did not care. It had been nearly four months since he had last seen her.

"Hey stranger." Her smile was brilliant and her tone was teasing. "It's good to see you."

He snorted. "That had better be the understatement of the century."

She beamed. "Of course it is." She looked him over, and wished he wasn't wearing that stupid vest. The flight suit was definitely her favorite of his uniforms. "Do you have time to show me around?"

He nodded, "I do, actually. Lieutenant Aldridge is swamped, so he asked me if I could show my former JAG HQ coworker around." He flashed her his most handsome smile. "I was more than willing to help the lieutenant with this task. Right this way." He ran his hand down her upper arm and took a deep breath. "It's so damned good to see you, Mac."

She followed him into the ship and watched him take off his vest. He held out his hand for hers, and she took a deep breath. She had hoped for a little more time and privacy before telling him about her promotion. She handed him the helmet and goggles first, and took a deep breath before taking off the vest. She watched as his expression went from amusement to shock, and then something she really couldn't read.

"Lieutenant Colonel." He stared at her for a moment and then snapped to attention.

Mac involuntarily winced. She knew he was trying to come across as jovial, but it was falling flat. "Harm, I was going to tell you. It just happened and I- "

"My heartiest congratulations, ma'am."

She forced a smile. "Thank you, Commander. At ease." She made the decision to steer away from their personal relationship for a moment, and asked him for his help with the investigation.

"I'm not with the JAG Corps anymore ma'am, I'm an aviator."

She winced again. "Oh, so you're not one of us, you're one of them."

"I will, of course, obey any lawful orders that you give me, ma'am." He offered her a small smile. "Although any unlawful orders you give could be a lot more fun."

She rolled her eyes, "I'll try to keep them all lawful, Commander." She turned and began to walk away, hoping he would follow since she had no real idea as to where she was going. She had only taken a couple of steps when she felt his hand momentarily close around her wrist. His thumb stroked the delicate skin, sending chills through her, and then he let go.

He glanced around and saw they were more or less alone. He leaned in close to her ear. "Congratulations, Sarah. I'm so proud of you." His lips brushed her cheek and then he straightened. "Come on. I'll help you get situated."

* * *

Mac heard a knock on the door. She stuck the photo in between the pages and hesitantly stood up. It could really only be Harm, and honestly, she didn't want to talk to him. He had been rude to her at dinner, and even though it was unintentional, he had impaired her case against Buxton. She warily opened the door a fraction and poked her head out. "Hi."

"Hey." His voice was soft, and she thawed a bit. "Come talk to me."

"Where?"

He shrugged. "The fantail? A supply closet? I don't care, we just need to talk."

She nodded. "Okay. Let me change first." She gestured at the PT shorts and t-shirt she was wearing.

"You don't need to change."

"Yes, I do. Most of the people on this ship already dislike me because of why I'm here. I need to at least be able to control the way they see me. I'll just be a minute." She shut the door, pulled off her clothes, and tossed them on the bed. She pulled her pants and blouse from earlier back on, and straightened her hair. She opened the door and found Harm leaning against the opposite wall. His eyes immediately went to the new insignia, and she now knew the unreadable expression she couldn't identify earlier was hurt.

Mac let him lead them to the fantail, and she noticed with relief that they were completely alone. They both walked to the railing and looked at the churning water below. She watched the water for a minute and then turned to face him. He was watching her. And he put one hand on her hip, and then leaned forward. He placed his other hand on the back of her head and pulled her face to his. His lips met hers and her mouth instantly opened to him. Her lips were soft under his and he gently nipped at her lower lip before letting his tongue dart into her mouth and his hands slip underneath her blouse. He reveled at the unbelievably soft skin that had always reminded him of velvet. She moaned and returned his kiss for a minute, and then she was putting her hands between them and pushing against his chest.

"Harm, stop. We can't do this here."

His breathing was ragged and he dropped his forehead to hers. "I know. I know. I just had to kiss you. I needed to kiss you."

She lifted her chin and gave him one more kiss before pulling away. "I needed that too. Almost four months is too long, Flyboy."

"I know." He thought about his next words for a moment. "A lot can happen in four months." He took a few steps to the wall and sat down, leaning his back against the warm metal.

She followed him, leaving a small amount of space between them. She lay her hand in the space, palm up, and smiled when he took it, entwining their fingers. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I wanted to. I wanted to so badly."

He glanced at her. "Why didn't you?"

She bit her lower lip and looked at the water. "It really did just happen, Harm. It happened Thursday. And you've had so much going on lately, so we haven't talked as much. And I wanted to actually tell you, not email you."

He squeezed her hand. "I understand that, but we've talked since Thursday. So why didn't you tell me during those talks?"

She looked at him and offered a wry smile. "Harm, you haven't been in a good place lately. You've been frustrated and unhappy, and unsure of what career path you want to spend the rest of your life on. I felt uncomfortable gushing about my promotion, and how my career is exactly what I want it to be." She sighed, and shrugged. "I don't know. In my head the thought of telling you made me feel selfish."

"Hey." He moved his free hand to her chin, and forced her to look at him. "Mac, I am so glad your career is what you want it to be. You have no idea how happy that makes me. Do I wish I had that same sense of direction? Obviously. But just because I'm feeling a little lost right now doesn't mean I want you feeling that way." He moved his hand to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. He smiled at her and she cocked her head to the side.

"What's that look for?"

"Before I left, I wondered how long your hair would be the next time I saw you. I like it longer. It suits you." He leaned over to straighten the pin on her collar, the silver oak leaf gleaming in the moonlight. "When this eventually changes to an eagle, I want to know immediately. I want you to scream it from rooftops. Deal?"

"Deal." She squeezed his hand this time, and smiled.

"So, did you have a wet-down?" She nodded. "Tell me about it. Did anyone attempt to have sex in the bathroom?"

Mac snorted. "I hope not." She thought back to the night of Bud's celebration and felt her cheeks warm. "It was nice though. I invited Maddie & Ben, since she had wanted to have dinner that night. She and Bobbi hit it off immediately, so after the party started breaking up, we all went out for dinner. She even charmed the Admiral into joining us."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Next time." She took a deep breath. "I know we can't talk about the case, but you have heard that the Admiral is sending Mic out here to help with Buxton's defense, haven't you?" He groaned and she offered him a sympathetic smile. "He's been behaving since the fourth of July."

Harm ran his free hand through his hair and leaned back. "I'm glad, but I still don't like the guy."

She shrugged. "I don't either, but we have to be professional. I gave the Admiral my word that we would be."

"I'll be fine. I promise." He was quiet for a moment as he stared at the sea.

She nudged his leg with her foot. "Penny for your thoughts."

He gave her a ghost of his normal smile. "Mac, do you think we're working?" He took a deep breath. "We both promised to be honest with each other no matter what, and it seems like we're both struggling with that lately."

She straightened her legs and stared at the water. "You keep asking me that. And the answer is still the same. It's hard, but it's working. Neither of us have been dishonest. We just haven't talked enough about what we have going on." She glanced down at their joined hands and then back at the water. "If it's not working for you, just say so. Don't take the cowardly way out and wait for me to say it. We're not married. You don't owe me anything."

"It's just harder than I thought it would be," he confessed. "I love you. That hasn't changed and I don't see it ever changing." He squeezed her hand.

Mac bit her lower lip and tried to force back the tears. She swallowed a few times and made herself ask the question she didn't want to ask, but needed to. "Harm, do you want to take a break from us for a while?"

He jerked his head toward her. "No! God, no." He brought their hands to his lips and placed a kiss on hers. "Absolutely not. Mac, I've have never felt like this before. And I hate that we started right before I left for six months. And yes, I know I'm the one who talked you into it. It's just hard. It seems these days like I'm only happy when I'm with you and when I'm in the air. I can't fly all the time, and you'll be gone in a few days. I can't even let myself enjoy the moment because I know it'll be over soon." He lifted their hands and scooted closer to her.

She lay her head on his shoulder and smiled as he bent to place a kiss on her forehead. "There will be more moments."

"I know. I know there will always be more moments, but think of all the moments we're missing while I'm out here."

"Harm, I didn't ask you to stay because that wasn't fair to either of us. And I don't think you should give this up solely because of me. That's not fair either."

He kissed her forehead again. "If I give this up, you will be a factor in that decision. It would be a lie for me to claim otherwise. But it's not just you. It's my parents too." He glanced at her and smiled slightly at her raised eyebrows. "All my life I have felt tethered to my dad's memory. And that has kept me from ever really getting close to anyone else. I was close to my mom when I was younger, since it was just us. But when she married Frank it felt like the ultimate betrayal. I felt closer to my dad than I felt to anyone else. In my head, getting close to anyone else meant I'd have to let go of him and I couldn't do that. When I found out he was gone and was finally able to let go, I finally started building a relationship with them, and I like that. I like having a family again. I want to visit them more; I want them to visit us more. I want to see my grandmother more. I can't do any of that when I'm on a ship for at least six months every other year."

"But you love flying," she said, "you just told me that you're only happy when you're in the air."

He looked at the water again. "I love being in the air, but I don't know if the rest of this is enough to make the time I'm in the air worth it. Especially when I can fly at home anytime I want to. I know 'Sarah' isn't exactly a tomcat, but it's still enjoyable." She coughed and he snorted. "Okay, it can be really enjoyable."

She took a deep breath. "Are you going to talk to Chegwidden about coming back to JAG?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. There are still a couple of months left here, and I'm going to follow your advice and spend this time trying to remember why I wanted to do this in the first place. I guess I'll decide once I'm back on dry land." He toyed with her fingers, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over the space where a ring would one day be. "Can I propose to you the next time I see you?"

She laughed and put her head back on his shoulder. "Nope. You are not allowed to propose to me until you've been back on dry land for at least six months."

He dropped his head to rest on hers. "Six months, huh?" He felt her nod. "Okay. I can live with that." He lifted his head and then tilted her face up. He brushed his lips against hers and felt her smile into the kiss. "Want to stay out here a little longer?"

"Yes." She put her head back on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

**End Part 7**


	8. Chapter 8

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Part 8**

Harm watched as she took her plate and walked away from the food line. He picked up his cup of coffee and hurried over to her. He placed one hand on the small of her back and leaned in slightly. "Can we talk?"

She turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. "Not ashamed to be seen with me?"

He winced. "I'm never ashamed to be seen with you."

"Mm-hmm." She started making her way to the most discrete table in the dining facility. She realized he wasn't following, and looked over her shoulder. "Aren't you coming?" She bit back a smile as he hurried to catch up with her. She sat and placed her napkin in her lap. She took a bite of her dinner as he watched her. After a moment of silence, she sat the fork down and folded her hands in her lap. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

He shrugged and sipped his coffee. "I don't know." He sighed and put the cup down. "Okay, I do. Mac, are you being this hard on Buxton because of things I've told you about him?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Harm, I knew within 30 seconds of meeting him that this guy is an entitled jerk, but no. If anything, the things you told me weren't nearly harsh enough. I'm being this hard on Buxton because it's my job to prosecute him, and that's what I'm trying to do." She pushed her plate toward him and folded her arms on the table. She leaned in and lowered her voice. "This guy is reckless, Harm. You've been telling me that for weeks. You told me a few weeks ago that he was going to end up getting someone killed. And now he has. Why hasn't anyone reigned him in? You're a natural leader, and I feel like you're so busy trying to be one of the guys that you aren't leading them. Instead of talking to people about him that could make a difference, you've been talking to your girlfriend."

He leaned back in his chair and narrowed his eyes. "I have been telling my girlfriend about my days, and about the things that are happening in my world. My coworkers come up. Should I not be doing that?"

"Of course you should be doing that. You can tell me anything and I hope you always will. But this is the problem with dating someone you work with. The lines get blurred. In other circumstances you can complain about coworkers and I may only see them occasionally at a Christmas party or something. But our careers can and will continue to intersect." She picked off a piece of the dinner roll and popped it in her mouth. He was quiet for a minute while he studied her. She noticed him staring and leaned back in her own chair. "What?"

He shook his head and offered her a slight smile. "This is the first time we've gone against each other in court since we started dating."

She smiled. "Yeah. The admiral told me he suspected we were together. I wonder if keeping us from facing off in court was on purpose?"

He laughed. "He's a smart man, so it wouldn't surprise me." He thought back to the beginning of their partnership and smiled broadly. "If we had been dating when I fired that weapon in the courtroom, how pissed off would girlfriend Mac have been?" Her laugh surprised him. "We were barely friends, and you were livid."

She smiled. "Exactly. We were barely friends. I actually think I'd react better to it now. I'm more familiar with your courtroom stunts and theatrics. Not much surprises me anymore." He was staring at her again and she cocked her head to the side. "What now?"

"Have I ever told you that you're a better lawyer than me?" His voice was gentle, and she could see the sincerity written all over his face.

She scoffed. "Thank you, but I doubt that."

He nodded. "You are, though. I may win more, but it's because of stunts and theatrics. You know the law. You're more interested in justice. I really admire that." He watched the blush spread across her face, and his heart began to beat a little faster. "I really, really wish we were alone right now."

She plucked the napkin off of her lap and stood. "Come on."

* * *

Harm pushed open the door to the fantail and was taken by surprise to see Brumby and Bud already there. Both men looked up at the sound of the door, and Harm tensed as he noticed Brumby glance back and forth at him and Mac.

"Sorry to interrupt." Mac said.

Bud shook his head. "No worries, ma'am. We both just needed some peace and quiet. I forgot how many people were on one of these ships. I better go inside though. I need to try and call Harriet."

Mac studied him for a minute. "Is everything okay, Bud?"

He nodded. "Fine, ma'am. Just tired. Have a good night." He walked back through the door.

Brumby was a few steps behind him. He turned and looked at the two of them again, and bit back a smirk. "How is Colonel Farrow doing, Colonel?"

She rolled her eyes and clenched her fists. "Go away, Commander." Once he was gone and the door was securely shut, she exhaled and turned to look at the water.

Harm approached her and circled his arms lightly around her waist. "He still thinks John is your secret boyfriend?" He felt her tremble as she laughed and he rested his chin on her shoulder. "Did I ever tell you about the time during your trial where Brumby accused all of us of being a little bit in love with you?"

Mac turned in his arms and gaped at him. "You did not. I'm scared to ask who 'all of us' is."

"According to Brumby, your fan club consists of Bud, the Admiral, and myself. He didn't mention John specifically, but since he was willing to take the fall for a murder for you, I'm guessing that was just implied."

"He actually told Bud and the Admiral that they were in love with me?" Harm nodded and she sighed. "He's an idiot."

"That he is." He ran his hands up and down her waist. "Although any man would have to be stupid not to be a little bit in love with you." She smiled and he leaned in to kiss her. After a long moment they pulled apart, and he leaned his forehead against hers. "Personally, I'm a lot in love with you."

* * *

**The next evening… **

Harm adjusted the weight on the bar, laid down and began to lift. He had hoped to spend more time with Mac, but she and Bud were working. He wasn't much of a gym person, but right now it was the only way he could think of to release some tension. He was frustrated with Brumby, he was frustrated with Buxton, and more than anything else he was sexually frustrated. He finished one set, and then lay there for a minute. He got up and added more weight to the bar and lay back down. He lifted it once, realized it was almost too heavy and gently sat it back down. He lifted himself up and bit and scanned the room. He spotted a few guys over by the water fountain.

"Hey, can one of you spot me for a few minutes?"

The whole group moved over to the weights. One lay down on the bench next to him, and the other two stood behind them. Harm did a few more sets, and quit once his arms began to shake and he didn't think he could lift anything else.

"Thanks for your help, I appreciate it."

"Anytime, sir." The young man picked up his water bottle, and he and the other two left the gym.

Harm sat on the bench and scanned his surroundings. He stood up and wiped down the equipment before heading to a treadmill. After a brief warm-up he increased the speed and began to run. He saw a familiar figure come in the room and he groaned inwardly. Brumby. And just his luck, he was heading to the only other open treadmill – the one next to his. He increased his speed and focused on the group of TVs mounted near the ceiling. Brumby took the open treadmill but didn't say a word. He began to run, and focused his attention on the TVs as well.

They had kept this up for a while, when two young pilots came in and headed to the recently freed treadmills a few down from Harm's. He kept running, but came to an abrupt stop at a few of the words he had picked up from their conversation. The words he had heard - 'Mackenzie' 'tits' 'ass' 'her knees' 'bitch' - made his blood run cold. He realized that Brumby had also stopped running, and one look at his face told him that he had heard them as well. Harm calmly stepped off of the treadmill, walked over to the younger men and pulled the emergency key out of one of the treadmills. The runner stumbled at the abrupt stop and grabbed the rails to keep from falling. The other wisely stopped on his own.

Harm was aware of Brumby approaching and leaned in close. "You will not speak those words about Colonel MacKenzie, or any other female officer, ever again. Do I make myself clear? The Colonel is superior to the two of you by much more than just rank, and you will treat her with respect."

"We were just joking around," one said, "lighten up."

Harm stepped closer. "I will not lighten up, and you do not want to try me on this. Do I make myself clear?"

The two men were both silent, and one finally nodded. "Yes sir. I apologize, sir."

He glared at the one who hadn't responded and waited until he nodded. Harm walked away and Brumby followed after him. "Rabb."

Harm turned and sighed. "Brumby."

"Colonel Farrow isn't in the picture, is he?"

Harm said a silent prayer that Mac wouldn't kill him, and shook his head. "He's not. Thank you for having my back." He said quietly. "I couldn't just stand there and listen to them saying those things about her."

"I don't stand for that either. No matter who it is. But especially not when it's someone I know and like." Brumby hesitated a moment. "Why keep it a secret? You're not in the same chain of command anymore."

"She wants it to be a secret. She was tired of being the star of the JAG gossip mill, so she wanted to keep it between us."

Brumby nodded. "I understand. And I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you." Harm extended his hand to Brumby, which he accepted and heartily shook.

* * *

Mac fidgeted with the phone cord while she waited to be connected to Harriet.

"Hello?"

"Harriet? Hi, it's Mac."

"Mac? Hi! Is everything okay?"

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you." She perched herself on the table and sighed. "Harriet, I'm about to ask you something incredibly inappropriate, so please tell me to butt out if you want to. Are you and Bud doing okay?"

"I think so. I mean, we've both been so busy since the baby came. Has he said something to you or Harm?"

Mac took a deep breath. "He's been so down on himself since we've been here. He thinks he's less manly than these people in more combat heavy rolls. We were talking about it tonight, and he implied that the two of you haven't been intimate since AJ was born."

"We haven't been," Harriet confessed. "We're both tired almost all of the time. He tried to initiate it once, but I still felt so uncomfortable in my body so I said no. He hasn't tried since."

"He thinks that this kind of thing lasts for years. And knowing Bud, I don't think he's going to make a move until you do."

"Years?"

Harriet's voice came out as a squeak, which made Mac smile. "That's what he thinks. Listen. When we get home, why don't I babysit for you two some. I can take him for a few hours and you two could have some much-needed time alone."

"Would you really?"

"Of course. He's my godson. Just don't tell Bud about this conversation. I think he would die of embarrassment."

Harriet laughed and promised. "Thanks again for telling me this, Mac. He and I are both really lucky to have you as a friend."

"We're all lucky to have each other."

* * *

Mac watched Bud talk to Harriet and grinned. Harm turned to her after his offer of a ride on a tomcat was shot down. "Did I miss something?" She laughed and he smiled at the sound. "Let's give him some privacy and see if our spot is free."

They found the fantail empty and Harm breathed a sigh of relief. As soon as the door was shut, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. One hand cupped her head and the other slid underneath her top. This was the last moment they were going to have for a while, and he craved the feel of her skin. His lips met hers, and her mouth instantly opened beneath his. His tongue met hers and both moaned into the kiss. His fingers brushed against the underside of her bra and she gently pushed him away.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, "I think I got a little carried away." He leaned back in and placed soft kisses from her ear to her collar bone, and grinned at the little sounds she made. After another minute he forced himself to stop. He tightened his arms around her and held her close. He buried his head in her neck, and breathed in her scent. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too. So much." She pulled back and studied him. She adored everything about this man. She reached into the pocket of her skirt and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She extended it to him, and he smiled at the déjà vu of the moment.

He took the paper and looked down to see his name was written in her elegant script. He looked back at her. "Tell me what it says."

She smiled, remembering the same moment. She leaned against the railing and met his eyes. "It says how much I love you." She bit her lower lip and forced back the tears. "It says that I'm happy I got to see you, even if the circumstances weren't ideal. It says that no matter where you end up career wise, I'll be by your side." A tear escaped and slid down her cheek. "It says that I think you're amazing, and I think our future is going to be better than either of us could have ever imagined."

He slid the note into his pocket and brought his hands to her face. He wiped away the tear with his thumb and then tilted her face to his, and kissed her gently. "I love you."

She covered his hand with hers. "I know. I love you too." They stood for a moment, and then she turned to stare out at the water. "It's not a hotel room in Destin, but I'm glad we've been able to have time alone out here."

He moved to stand beside her and grinned. "When most people are looking for privacy, they're usually wanting to have sex and need real privacy. This is a little too accessible for that."

She glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? And have you had a lot of aircraft carrier sex, Commander?"

"Red light, ma'am." He laughed as she rolled her eyes. "I've actually never had sex on a carrier."

"Really?" She studied him.

He scoffed. "Of course I haven't. Women weren't even allowed to serve on carriers until late 1993, so they were never around when I was flying before. And this time I have you. And I'm definitely not throwing away what we have for a quickie in a supply closet." He took a breath. "I know what happened with us when I was seeing Jordan may make you worry, but this is different. I could never do that to you."

"Harm. I know you wouldn't do that."

He watched her for a minute, and decided to change the subject. "So, what's going on with Bud & Harriet?"

"Apparently for the two of them, a baby means abstinence. Bud doesn't feel very manly since he and Harriet haven't been intimate in a while. And being here around all of you combat types made him feel even less manly. Especially when he heard we're referred to as legal weenies."

Harm winced. "This," he said, gesturing to the ship, "doesn't make anyone more or less of a man. Bud is a damned good man. Better than almost every single one I've met here."

Mac nodded. "You don't need to tell me that. But I took care of it. I called Harriet to tell her how Bud was feeling, and I'm going to babysit more when I get back so they can have some time alone together."

"You're a good friend."

She shrugged off the compliment. "They've been good friends to us. It's the least I can do." She looked up at him and smiled. "AJ is getting big. He's starting to develop his own little personality. It's fun to be around him."

"I hate I'm missing it." His voice was quiet.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rub it in."

He shook his head. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault." He took a deep breath. "Mac, we've mentioned kids, but never really talked about it. You do want kids, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

He turned to face her. "Even if I'm out here for six months every other year?"

She put her hand on his chest and was silent for a minute while she felt his heart. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's not what I imagined when I used to think about having a family. I always hoped my husband would travel less than me, not more. But you're worth the sacrifice."

* * *

Harm walked with Mac, Bud and Brumby to the helicopter. Mac was visibly on edge, and doing a poor job of hiding it. Bud was still on a high from his conversation with Harriet and was oblivious, but Mic noticed.

"Anxious to get back to Colonel Farrow, Colonel?" He laughed at her glare, before winking at Harm and excusing himself. He climbed into the helicopter. Bud gave Harm a hug and followed him.

Harm watched the two of them get settled and turned to her. "Travel safe, Mac. Please email me when you get home."

"I will. Take care of yourself, Harm."

"I will." He tugged her into his arms, and held her tightly. "I love you," he whispered into her ear, "and I'll be back before you know it."

"I love you too." She pulled away from him and bit her lower lip. "Bye Harm."

He watched her get into the helicopter and settle in the seat closest to the door. He held up his hand to wave, and stood there as they shut the door and began to lift off. "Two more months," he told himself, "we can do this."

**End Part 8**


	9. Chapter 9

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Part 9**

"May I come in?"

Mac looked up at her open door and gave Bobbi Lathan a hesitant smile. "Of course." She straightened her back and set her pen on her legal pad. "What brings you out here?"

"Lunch with Sturgis. He's wrapping something up, so I hoped to talk to you." Bobbi fully entered the office and shut the door behind her. "This is awkward." She reached back and ran a hand over her sleek hair. "I called Maddie last night, and she invited me to join the two of you in Charlottesville this weekend. I just wanted to make sure you're okay with that. I'll tell her I can't make it, if you'd rather it be just the two of you."

Mac smiled and leaned back in her chair. "I'm fine with it. Really, I am. It'll actually be more fun for her if someone is there who can actually drink."

Bobbi raised an elegant eyebrow. "You're going to a winery and you don't drink?"

"I'm an alcoholic."

Her eyes widened. "You're an alcoholic? Why in the world are you going to a winery if you're an alcoholic?

Mac shrugged. "Wine was never my drink of choice." She offered Bobbi a small smile. "I'm fine being around alcohol. I've been going to McMurphy's with my coworkers here for years. I don't know if I would risk it if it were an emotionally tumultuous time, but I am okay going. Plus, there's this apple orchard in Charlottesville that has these really amazing apple cider doughnuts."

Bobbi laughed and Mac smiled. "Mac, I'd like for us to be friends. I hope that's possible."

"I'd like to be friends." She picked up the pen and fiddled with it. "I don't dislike you, Bobbi." She took a deep breath and set the pen back down. "Sturgis may have already told you this, but Harm and I have been seeing each other for a while." She thought of Maddie's borderline inappropriate questions and grinned. "I'm sure you've noticed that Maddie has no filter. She likes to ask incredibly personal questions, and it's just a little uncomfortable being with someone else who could also answer her questions." She thought back to that night at McMurphy's and the discussion about what Harm was like with Carolyn and Jordan.

"I'm glad the two of you finally found your way to one another." Bobbi smiled at the faint blush that colored Mac's cheeks. "It was two nights, Mac. It didn't mean anything to him, and it didn't mean much to me."

"I know." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm sorry if I've been unfriendly towards you."

"I understand. I could tell there was something between the two of you back then. If he hadn't been so damned handsome and charming, I probably would have turned him down and sent him straight to you."

Mac laughed and Bobbie grinned. "I do understand. That smile and those eyes are nothing but trouble." Her phone rang and she reached for it. The conversation was short and she sighed and stood once she hung up. "The Admiral needs to see me."

Bobbie stood, and smoothed out her skirt. "I should go track down my lunch date. I'm really looking forward to Saturday, Mac."

"I am too."

* * *

Harm rubbed the heel of his hand over his eyes and collapsed in his desk chair. It had been a very long day, his body was tired, and he was emotionally drained. He moved the mouse and woke up the computer. He logged into his personal email and was pleasantly surprised to see an email from his mother.

_To: HRabb1963_

_From: LaJollaArt_

_Re: Thanksgiving_

_Hello Darling, _

_I hope everything is well with you. I called Mac the other day and she said she had a case on the carrier and got to spend a little time with you while she was there. I'm sure seeing each other was bittersweet. Anyways, I'm trying to make plans for Thanksgiving. Frank and I are going to the farm in Pennsylvania, and I know your grandmother would be so happy if you and Mac joined us. Please think about it. _

_Let me know what you think. You'll be back on dry land soon, and the holidays will be here before we know it! _

_I love you, _

_Mom_

Harm glanced at the calendar he had pinned up and took a deep breath. He couldn't believe it was October. This deployment was almost over, and he still had no idea what the next phase of his life would look like. At least the next phase of his professional life. He hit reply and began typing out a response to his mother.

_To: LaJollaArt_

_From: HRabb1963_

_Re: Thanksgiving_

_Hey mom,_

_It's good to hear from you. Seeing Mac a few weeks ago was definitely bittersweet. I had gotten used to being apart, and seeing her again made it feel as if we had started this whole thing over. As long as my homecoming doesn't get pushed back, I'd love to see you guys for Thanksgiving. Mac hasn't met the other Sarah in my life yet. Everything was such a blur before I left, we just never had the chance to make that trip. I'll call her tonight and make sure she doesn't have any plans and I'll let you know. _

_Give my love to Frank, and I'll talk to you soon. _

_Love,_

_Harm_

He read over the email and hit send. He scanned his inbox to make sure he hadn't missed anything from Mac before picking up the phone to call her. The phone rang a few times and he was about to hang up when she answered.

"Hello?"

She was a breathless and panting a little and he smiled. "Hi there. Did I interrupt your workout?"

"Hi!" She smiled and went to shut the front door. "You have perfect timing. I just finished. I'm starting to think the weather is never going to cool off. It's October and it's still uncomfortably hot." Not wanting to sit on the sofa in her sweaty clothes, she pulled out a chair from the small table in her dining area and sat. "Sturgis has decided that Bud is overweight and needs a fitness plan, and has roped me into working out with them."

Harm winced. "Does Sturgis know how competitive you are?" She laughed and he smiled. "What was your pace compared to theirs?"

She was quiet for a moment. "I'm not that bad."

"Mac…"

"Fine. I did an eight-minute mile and they were averaging twelve to thirteen minutes per mile." She leaned over and untied her shoes. "I think Bud appreciated it though. He told me that being able to keep up with me is going to be something he shoots for." She removed both shoes and set them aside. "So how was your day?"

He groaned. "Long. Tiring. This is definitely a younger man's world. And a shorter man's world. Last night I actually dreamt of just sleeping in a regular sized bed."

"Was I there?"

Her voice was light and teasing, and he grinned. "Whenever I think about my bed, you're always there. How was your day?"

"I'm glad. And it was interesting. Bobbi stopped by to see me. Maddie invited her on the winery outing this weekend, and Bobbi wanted to make sure I was okay with that. She wants us to be friends."

He was quiet for a moment. He hated himself for that fling with her, and for how he had hurt both of them. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her that I'd like to be friends. And I meant it. I really do want to be friends with her. Especially now that she and Sturgis are getting serious, and she and Maddie have become good friends. But it is awkward spending time with someone who has had sex with your boyfriend."

"I can imagine." He took a deep breath. "Mac, I don't know if I've ever really apologized for not being there for you that night."

"Harm, don't. I stopped by, saw her, and couldn't get out of there fast enough. If I had actually told you that I needed you, I know you would have been there for me."

"I would have." They were both silent for a long moment. "So which wineries are you going to? And are you sure this is a good idea?"

"We're going to Pippin Hill in Charlottesville. That's the only one Maddie mentioned specifically. And it'll be fine. Maddie and Bobbi both know about my alcoholism. And wine was never my drink of choice anyway. I've volunteered to drive, and I'm going to enjoy a lot of iced tea and Pellegrino and just enjoy the day. Plus, we are going to an apple orchard which is famous for their apple cider doughnuts and slushies." She smiled at the sound of his laughter.

For what felt like the thousandth time he wished that her life had been easier, and she could just do things like going to wineries with girlfriends without her alcoholism following her. She deserved so much more than what life had given her. "Well, be sure to have a doughnut for me."

"I'll have two for you."

He smiled and glanced at his computer. "So, I got an email from mom today. She was inquiring about our Thanksgiving plans. I know we haven't talked about it, but I'd love for you to spend the holiday with me."

"I'd love that." This would be a first for her. She had never spent a holiday with a significant others family before, which wasn't surprising considering there had never been anyone as significant as Harm. "Are we going to California or will your parents come here?"

"Actually, we're all going to Pennsylvania – to my grandmother's farm. Mom & Frank spend every other Thanksgiving with her."

Her eyes widened and she stood to pace. "Ah. The infamous Sarah Rabb. I must admit, I'm a little nervous about meeting her. I think I'm more nervous about that than I was to meet your mom."

He shook his head, even though he knew she couldn't see him. "Don't worry about that for a second. My grandmother will love you. And you'll love her."

"That's really nice that your parents spend holidays with her. How do her and Frank get along."

"Oh, they adore one another." He laughed and thought about past holidays. "They've been close ever since the first time my mom brought him around. Frank's parents died when he was in college, and he was an only child. Grams welcomed him into the family almost immediately. He was so kind to her. Even the bitter child I was could recognize that. They would spend hours sitting on the couch or the porch swing, looking at photos of my dad. He would listen to all of her stories and he would hold her hand when she got emotional. Then she demanded that on our next visit he bring some photos from his own childhood. He did, and they sat together while he talked about his life, and she would hold his hand when he talked about his parents. He became her surrogate son and she became his surrogate mother."

"I love that," she said softly. "She must be remarkable."

"She is. I really can't wait for you to meet her." He thought about his grandmother and felt a squeezing around his heart. Flying for the military had cost his grandmother both a husband and a son. It had cost his mother a husband. And him a father. He was good at what he did, he knew that. But his family history was still unsettling. Especially since he now had so much to lose.

* * *

Mac ended up inviting Harriet to come with them, since she remembered how awkward groups of three could be, and offered to drive since she obviously wouldn't be drinking. She picked Harriet up last, and once they were all buckled into Harm's SUV, they began the two-and-a-half-hour drive to Charlottesville.

Harriet glanced around the car and frowned slightly. The newest issue of a local magazine was tucked in the back of the driver's seat, and there was a styrofoam cup from Beltway Burger in the back cup holder. She remembered Mic gossiping about Mac having a secret boyfriend and how Mac had taken a few days off to go to Florida with Harm. She studied Mac in the rear-view mirror, and bit her lip to force back a smile. "So, Mac. How often do you drive Harm's car?" Mac's eyes met hers in the mirror, and Harriet grinned.

"He asked if I could keep it at my place while he was gone." Mac looked over at Maddie and saw her fighting back her own smile. Maddie agreed with Harm, and couldn't understand why she was so determined to keep this a secret. Mac rolled her eyes and then met Harriet's again in the mirror. "Go ahead, ask."

"How long have you two been together?"

"About six months. Although he has been deployed for the bulk of that." Harriet squealed and Mac couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry I haven't told you. I just wanted to keep it out of the office. As far as I know only the Admiral and Sturgis know."

"I understand. Everyone has always speculated about the two of you anyway. Why add fuel to the fire? Can I tell Bud?"

Mac was quiet for a moment. "You can," she started slowly, "only because I would never ask you to keep anything from your husband. Just ask him not to say anything."

Harriet nodded and Maddie rolled her eyes. "Mac, at this point half of your office probably knows."

"I know. It's only a matter of time before everyone finds out. I'm just trying to hold out until his deployment is over and he decides what he wants to do next."

Bobbi cocked her head to the side. "What do you mean? Is he not happy on the carrier?"

Mac shook her head. "He just feels restless, but he's also not sure he wants to come back to JAG. I don't think he knows what he wants." She tapped her fingers against the steering wheel. "I obviously would love it if he came back to JAG, but if our relationship gets more serious than that just opens up a whole new can of worms."

Harriet sighed and twisted her rings around. "The military definitely doesn't make relationships easy. I understand why they're discouraged, but you can't control who you fall in love with. And with schedules like yours I imagine it can be really hard to meet people outside of work."

Maddie nodded her agreement. "It's the same with doctors. Nearly everyone who works at the hospital dates someone else who works at the hospital. It's pretty much a real-life General Hospital. Before I met Ben, I had been single for such a long time. Ben, however, is a teacher. And apparently had no problem meeting people. Young, attractive, twenty-two-year-old people."

Mac rolled her eyes. "Give him a break. According to Harm that break up was brutal."

"I know. He told me all about it. I just hate going to events at the university and being forced to make small talk with all of these women he's slept with. It's awkward."

"Believe me, I know how you feel." Mac and Bobbi's eyes met in the mirror. Both blushed and looked away quickly. "You just have to remind yourself that what you and Ben have is different than the casual flings he had with the others." She grinned as Maddie crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her seat.

The rest of the drive to Charlottesville went quickly, and it wasn't long before Mac had pulled the SUV into the parking lot. The vineyard was one of the prettiest she had ever seen. The property overlooked lush vineyards, a working garden, and had a spectacular view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The path that led to the glamorous barn & gorgeous covered veranda was lined with massive hydrangea bushes. She pushed her sunglasses up on her head and took in the view. "This is gorgeous."

Their small group made their way to the hostess stand and checked in. It would be at least a half hour before a table for lunch was ready, so they made their way to the tasting room first. They all took seats at the bar, and Mac discretely pushed the wine menu aside and asked for a glass of water. While she had never enjoyed wine, probably because the wine she had experience with was the stuff that cost about $2 per bottle, she was envious of her friends. They sipped and exclaimed over certain varietals, and she began to feel left out. She stood and picked up her bottle of water. "I saw a chicken coop when we got here. I think I'm going to check that out. I'll find you guys in a few minutes." She hurried away before anyone could say anything.

Maddie watched her go and set her own glass down. "You guys stay. I'm going to go make sure she's okay." She stepped outside and headed towards the chicken coop. The grass was wet from the previous day's rain, and she felt her heels sinking into the ground. She grimaced, but continued on. Mac was kneeling at the entrance of the coop, watching the chickens. She had taken off her own heels and was holding them in one hand. Maddie placed a hand on her shoulder, and smiled when Mac looked over her shoulder at her. "Are you okay?"

Mac stood and turned to face her. "I am. This is just harder than I thought it would be. I honestly thought I'd be fine since I go to bars with friends all the time. But it's different. Everyone at the bar typically orders something different and there's no conversation about it. But here you three are all trying the same thing and talking about it, and I just feel a little left out." She forced a smile. "I guess that's the story of my life, these days."

Maddie put a hand on her arm. "What are you talking about?"

Mac sighed. "These days I always feel left out, or I feel like a fifth wheel, and I'm just tired of it. I'm thankful that my friends have included me, but it gets a little awkward sometimes. And it makes me miss Harm. Which leads to thinking about how much time he and I will spend apart if he continues to fly. And that ends with me being frustrated."

"Have you told him that?"

Maddie's voice was gentle and Mac tried to smile. "I can't tell him that, Maddie. He's so up in the air about what he wants already. I can't let my frustration sway him. I know he would give it up in a heartbeat if I asked him to, but I don't want him to do that. If he gives it up, I want it to be because that's what he wants."

Maddie draped her arm across her friend's shoulders and tugged her close. "I think you need to talk to him about how you feel, but I know you won't so I'll drop that. But Mac? You are never, ever a fifth wheel. Don't think that for a second. Ben and I love spending time with you. When we want to be alone, we're alone. But if we ask you to come out to dinner with us, it's because we want to. You're my closest friend, and Ben adores you. Don't ever feel uncomfortable with us. Or with Harriet and Bud. I was around Harriet for five minutes today and I could see how much you mean to her and Bud. I'm sure she would tell you the same thing I just did."

"Thank you."

"Anytime." Maddie squeezed her, and watched the chickens for a moment.

"I think I'm ready to go back inside now." She paused and smiled. "You're a really good friend, Maddie. I probably don't tell you that enough."

Maddie's smile was radiant and her cheeks flushed. "Ditto."

**End Part 9**


	10. Chapter 10

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Notes**: This takes place around season 5, episode 3 (True Callings). Also, I'm not sure how the Navy works with post-deployment leave, but the Air Force gives their people (or at least my husband's squadron gives their people) 10 days of leave when returning from a deployment. So, we're going with that. Also, this part is the very definition of filler (#sorrynotsorry). The two weeks leading to a homecoming are almost as difficult as the first two weeks of a deployment. Time comes to a complete standstill and you're filled with this overwhelming sense of excitement and anticipation.

**Part 10**

**Twenty-Two Days**

"Excuse me, Ms. MacKenzie?" Mac looked up and was startled to see a very young woman hidden behind an incredible arrangement of deep burgundy roses. She hurried over to her and took the arrangement from her, and set them on her desk.

The young woman smiled and pulled a folded sheet of paper from her back pocket. "Thank you, ma'am. If you could sign by the x please." She handed the sheet over and waited patiently.

Mac returned the form and turned to look at the flowers. They really were spectacular. She plucked the card from the plastic clip and ran her finger under the sealed flap.

"_Hey there, gorgeous. I have pretty exciting news. I can't wait to tell you when we talk later, but if you're wanting a hint just count the roses. I love you. H." _

She took a deep breath and set the card on the desk. She counted the roses once. Twenty-two. She counted them again to be on the safe side, and got the same number. She glanced at the calendar hanging behind her desk and took a deep breath. Twenty-two days would be shortly after Harm's six-month mark. She took her seat and opened up her personal email. There was nothing from Harm, so she opened a new message and began typing.

_To: HRabb1963_

_From: SarahMacKenzie_

_Re: 22_

_H-_

_I counted twenty-two roses (they're absolutely gorgeous, by the way) … I have a feeling what that number means. Call me as soon as you can and tell me if I'm right. _

_I love you (and thank you),_

_M. _

She sent the message and reclined in her chair. She studied the roses and smiled. This was the first time he had sent her flowers, and while she usually thought roses were a cliché, they were perfect coming from him. Her desk phone rang and she reached for it.

"Colonel MacKenzie."

"So, what do you think the number means?"

His teasing made her smile, and she sat upright. "Well," she started, "it could be the number of times you thought about me yesterday."

"That's a good guess, but not quite."

She could hear the smile in his voice and she fingered the petals on one of the roses. "Hmm. Well, maybe the number of puppies you want to want to adopt when you get home?"

He snorted and she smiled. "Not quite. One more guess and then I'm going to tell you."

"One more guess… Well, I'm going to go with the number of days you have left on the ship." He was silent and she took a deep breath. "Harm, please tell me I'm right."

"You're right. Twenty-two days until I see you again." It was his turn to break the silence. "Mac? You there?"

"I can't believe we finally have a date. It feels so much more real now."

"I know. I can't wait to see you. Listen, I know homecoming ceremonies can be a little corny, but I would really love it if you were there."

She laughed lightly. "Good luck keeping me away. I'll go talk to Chegwidden about taking leave as soon as we hang up. How much time off should I take?"

He frowned. "I was hoping you'd take two weeks and spend all of my post-deployment leave with me."

"Of course I will. I just wasn't sure if you had things you needed to get done with that time."

"All I want, and need, is to be with you. Nothing else matters, Sarah. Nothing."

* * *

**Nineteen Days**

Harm walked over to his plane and stared at the single word now painted under his name. Hammer. The CAG was right. He didn't belong in this world anymore no matter how much a part of him, albeit a very small part, wanted to stay. He heard footsteps behind him and didn't bother to turn. He knew it would be Skates.

She stood next to him and looked up at his plane, before glancing at his face. "You're going back to JAG, aren't you?"

He rubbed his hand over the nape of his neck. "I don't belong here anymore."

She placed a hand on his arm. "Maybe not, but you're the best I've ever flown with."

He glanced down at her and smiled. "And you're the best RIO I've ever had." He placed his hand over hers and squeezed gently before dropping it back to his side.

"Are you doing this for the Colonel?"

He shook his head. "No, but I would if she asked me to." He turned to face her. "You're actually a large part of why I'm doing this."

Her eyes widened and she took a step back. "Me, sir?"

"Not in an inappropriate way." She visibly relaxed, and he grinned. "Your fears this past week. Your realization that you're not bulletproof." He turned back to the plane and tried to put his thoughts into words. "I guess it just hit me that none of us are bulletproof. I've had more than my fair share of near-death experiences. I've always been proud of my father and I've always wanted to be just like him. But I don't want that anymore. I don't want his life; I want a life of my own."

"Being a pilot doesn't necessarily mean having his life." She took a deep breath. "Or having the same ending that he did."

He briefly realized he should be talking about this with Mac, but brushed away the thoughts. He would talk to her about all of this in person in nineteen days. "I want a family, Skates. I want to marry Mac, have a couple of brilliant children with her eyes. And I want to be there for them every single day. I can't do that if I'm deploying all the time." He looked back to her and smiled. "I finally found the one thing that means more to me than being in the air."

"You and Mac are lucky." Her voice was soft.

He nodded. "I'm glad I did this. I think I would have always had regrets if I hadn't had this opportunity. But now I think I can step off of this ship in nineteen days and look toward the future."

* * *

**Fifteen Days **

Mac watched Maddie and Ben argue, and was equal parts annoyed and amused. They had taken the plunge and decided to move in together, and now they were arguing over whether or not Ben's ancient leather armchair really belonged in the room full of Maddie's stylish mid-century furniture. She shared a look with Sturgis and Bobbi, and then looked back at the couple.

James, one of Ben's friends rolled his eyes and gestured to Sturgis to give him a hand with the chair. The two men lifted it, and made their way into the living room. They placed the chair in an empty space by a window and looked at the still arguing couple. "Guys, argue over the chair later." James said. "The rest of us would like to finish this up, eat all of your pizza, drink all of your beer, and then get back to our lives." Mac laughed, and he glanced at her and smiled.

Ben backed Maddie up, until the backs of her legs were against the chair. He gave her a gentle nudge and she collapsed into it. He bent to give her a kiss, and then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm going to go order the pizzas."

She leaned back in the chair and rubbed her hands over the soft leather. "It is comfortable, but that doesn't change the fact that it's hideous." He grinned and shrugged, and she smiled as she watched him walk away.

Mac took a seat on one of the love-seats and looked around. "This place is beautiful."

Maddie looked around and smiled. She loved the look of the modern touches with the older architecture of the building. "Thank you. It was love at first sight." She studied her friend. "Think you and Harm will take this step when he gets home?"

She shrugged. "I don't even know where he'll be when he gets back. Unless he gets a special duty that brings him back to DC, he'll be in Pensacola."

"So, what does that mean for the two of you?"

Mac shrugged again. "Beats me. We agreed to take all of this one step at a time. I guess we'll start figuring it out in fifteen days."

Maddie snorted. "I say sixteen days. I doubt you'll do much talking on day one." She gave her friend a teasing smile. "So, what do you think will happen when he gets back?"

Mac bit her lower lip. "Honestly I'm not sure. He's been teasing me for months about asking me to marry him the next time we're together. I asked him not to ask for at least six months."

"Good Lord, why?"

"I've never had a relationship like this before. I don't want to rush things. I want to take our time and enjoy it every step of the way."

"I can understand that," Maddie started, "but don't deny yourself something you really want because you think you should wait." She thought of Ben and smiled. "We're moving faster than I ever thought I would. I always had a plan, you know? Date for a specific amount of time. Be engaged for a specific amount of time. Get married. Be married for a specific amount of time before having children. Then I met him and all of those timelines I set for myself just went away."

Bobbi walked over and handed them each a bottle of water. "I know I'm the last person you want Harm advice from, but I don't see him as the type to joke about getting married. I think if he's mentioning it, he's absolutely serious."

Maddie frowned slightly and leaned forward. "Why are you the last person Mac would want Harm advice from?" Mac and Bobbi shared a look and Maddie gasped. "No way! You and Harm?"

Bobbi turned to see if Sturgis had noticed, but the men were no longer in the kitchen. "Yes. A very brief fling. And Sturgis doesn't know."

Maddie looked between the two of them and raised an eyebrow. Mac laughed and glanced at Bobbi. "Inappropriate question coming in three, two, one…"

"So, what's he like? This one," Maddie gestured at Mac, "won't give me any of the juicy details."

Bobbi rolled her eyes. "Should we call some of Ben's one-night stands and ask about how he was?"

Maddie bit her lip. "Okay, point taken." She took a sip of her water. "So, are you nervous about seeing him again?"

Mac shook her head. "Not even a little. I feel like this deployment was actually really good for us." She shifted so her legs were curled beneath her. "I was against starting anything. I wasn't ready or in a good place for a relationship. But I wanted him, and he was very persuasive, so I agreed to give us a shot. But then he deployed and I was pretty much on my own again. And even though I miss him and can't wait for him to be back, that time on my own was so good for me." She smiled broadly. "And now I actually feel like I am ready for a healthy relationship."

* * *

**Ten Days **

"What?"

Harm winced and instantly sat up straighter. "Mom? Are you okay?"

"Oh darling, I'm sorry." She exhaled sharply and took a few breaths. "I thought you were the agent I just hung up with."

He raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you get this rattled by an agent?"

"Since the artist he represents wants to fill my beautiful gallery with some of the most insulting art I've ever seen. He was just threatening to sue me for violating his client's first amendment right."

Trish was rarely ever this rattled when it came to her work and he was insanely curious about what was causing this reaction. "Mom, I have to ask. What's depicted in the work?"

She sighed again. "Sweetheart, I think he purposely set out to offend everyone he possibly could. It's all disgusting. I have a feeling he wants galleries to say no, so that he can cause a ruckus in the media and bring more attention to his client. But enough about him. It's been too long since I've heard your voice. What's going on with you?"

He glanced up at the calendar and grinned. "Well, I have my homecoming date. I'll be back in ten days." He laughed as his mother made a squealing noise to express her delight. He loved hearing that sound come from her, and felt guilty for how much grief he had brought into her life. "I'm sure you've already talked to Mac, but you can definitely count us in for Thanksgiving."

"Oh, I am so glad to hear that. Frank and Sarah will be over the moon."

He smiled at the mention of his grandmother. "I can't wait to see them both. And you of course."

"Of course. I imagine your old mother is the person you're most looking forward to seeing."

He heard the teasing note in her voice and laughed. "I have to admit that you're number two on that list. There's a certain Marine that's in the top spot."

"Good. That's how it should be." Trish's voice was soft. "And even if you have children, keep her in that top spot if you deploy again. Your relationship should always be the most important thing, even more important than any children you have. Remember that, okay?"

"I will." He was quiet for a moment. "Did dad make you number one?"

"He did." She cleared her throat. "So, have you decided what the future holds? Will it be a lot of deployments or a quiet… well, quieter, life as a lawyer?"

He took a deep breath. "I'm not going to fly anymore. I'm glad I did it, but this isn't where I belong."

Trish exhaled sharply. "I'm so glad to hear that, darling."

"Don't mention that to Mac though, please. I want to tell her in person when I see her."

"I won't say anything," Trish promised. "Is she going to be there when you get off the ship?"

He grinned as he imagined her in the crowd of Navy wives, with their homemade signs, and children decked out in their most patriotic outfits. "She'll be there."

* * *

**Two Days**

Mac looked around her apartment and let out a breath. She had been desperately trying to stay busy these past few days and was officially out of things to do. The apartment was spotless. Really spotless. She had even scrubbed the baseboards and cleaned out every cabinet and closet. She had packed for Florida for herself, and had gone to Harm's apartment to pack a few things for him as well. She had arranged to leave her car in the secure parking garage at Maddie & Ben's new place. Her mail had been put on hold, and the fridge had been emptied out. She was ready to go. Her flight left the next afternoon, since she wanted to be there the day before to rule out the possibility of any delays. Part of her just wanted to fall into bed and sleep until it was time to head to the airport. Time had seemingly stopped and she was losing her mind.

The phone rang, startling her. She reached for the phone and answered it while collapsing onto the couch.

"Please tell me that time has stopped for you as well."

She lit up at the sound of his voice. "I don't think the clock has moved in about six hours. And I'm sure tomorrow won't be any better."

"Are you packed and ready to go?"

"I am. Need me to grab anything for you?"

He thought for a moment. "I can't think of anything. Considering I want us to spend the next two weeks naked, bringing anything is kind of waste." She laughed and he grinned, even though he was only partially kidding. "I love you. And I can't wait to see you."

"The feeling is definitely mutual, Flyboy." She took a deep breath. "Are you nervous?"

"A little." He was quiet for a moment. "Are you?"

She laughed lightly. "I wasn't until today. I've been completely cool and then today the nervousness just punched me in the stomach, and I've found myself worried about the most ridiculous things."

"Like what?"

She bit her lower lip. "I don't know. What if the sex isn't as good as it was? What if we annoy each other being together after so much time apart? What if the weather changes and the clothes I packed aren't warm enough? What if-"

"Sarah." His gentle voice cut her off, and he gave her a moment before he continued. "Everything will be okay. If the sex isn't great initially, it'll get better. If we annoy each other, we'll take sometime to be by ourselves. If the weather gets unexpectedly cool, we'll find a mall and buy a few things. Everything will be good though. Better than good. I promise."

"I'm just so ready to be back with you."

"I know, honey. I'm ready for that too. We've made it this far though. I think we can handle these last two days."

**End Part 10**


	11. Chapter 11

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Notes**: My apologies for how short this part is. It's short for two reasons: 1) I wanted to end with a little cliffhanger. 2) If I didn't break it here, it would have been an insanely long chapter.

**Part 11**

Mac handed her military ID to the young man at the gate. He scanned it with his handheld scanner and handed it back to her. "Enjoy your afternoon, ma'am."

She tucked the ID away and looked at him. "I'm here for the Patrick Henry homecoming. Can you direct me to the best place to park?"

"Yes ma'am." He pulled a laminated map out of his guard house and showed her where she currently was, and showed her the best route to get to where she needed to be. "With your credentials you can park pretty much anywhere, but I recommend this lot."

She studied the map for another moment and then smiled. "Thank you very much." She waited for the electric arm to raise and then drove through it. She followed the directions the guard had given her and pulled into the lot. Apparently, everyone was excited - the lot was filling quickly, and she pulled into the first spot she saw. She locked the car behind her and instinctively followed the groups of women and children. Most of these women probably had instructions from their FRG leaders, and likely had a better idea of where to go than she did.

Most of the women were dressed to kill, and carried poster board signs. The children wore various shades of red, white, and blue and carried small American flags. She felt more than a little out of place being on this side of a homecoming. A woman walked past her in a skintight dress, with impeccable hair and makeup, and suddenly she felt completely underdressed. Although her belly was so full of butterflies, she didn't think she would be able to walk in heels as high as some of these women were wearing.

Once everyone stopped walking the crowds began to separate into small groups based on squadron, and she stepped out of the way. She leaned against a short brick wall and watched the crowd. It wasn't long before her isolation made her stand out, and an incredibly young woman with a clipboard made her way over.

"Excuse me, do you need help finding your husband's squadron?"

Mac straightened and smiled politely. "I'm fine here, thank you." She sighed inwardly as the younger woman's smile dimmed a little. "My significant other is a pilot."

Her eyes went to Mac's left hand, and the remainder of the smile disappeared. "Ma'am, if you don't have a valid dependent ID, you're going to need to stay with your sponsor."

Mac pulled her wallet from her purse and extended her ID to the woman. She bit back a smile as her eyes widened. "I'm fine where I'm at. But thank you for your concern."

"Yes ma'am."

She hurried away and Mac watched as she approached a small group of women a few yards away. She reclined against the wall again and took a deep breath. There was nothing to do now but wait.

* * *

Harm slung his sea bag over his shoulder and for the first time in six months and eight days, his feet were on dry land. He stepped out of the way so the people behind him could disembark, while he scanned the crowd for her. His eyes flitted past the groups of women holding signs and carrying children, and landed on a solitary figure leaning against a wall. She hadn't noticed him yet, so he took advantage of this opportunity and stared. Her jeans were impossibly snug and she wore a short-sleeved mustard-yellow wrap top with white polka dots. Her hair was even longer than it had been the last time he saw her, and was pushed back with her sunglasses. His breath caught in his throat and he felt his heart speed up. Even dressed more casually than the other women, she was still the more beautiful than anyone had a right to be. He watched as she turned her head, and her eyed locked with his. He smiled, and they both began moving toward one another.

When he was close enough to touch her, he let the bag fall from his shoulder and his hands went to her waist. One hand slid from her waist to the small of her back and he pulled her against him. "Hi," he said, his voice coming out as a whisper.

"Hi." She circled her arms around his neck and smiled brightly at him.

He lowered his head to capture her lips with his, and stifled a moan as she parted her lips to deepen the kiss. After a minute, he remembered he was in uniform and forced himself to pull away. He kissed her lightly, and then lowered his forehead to hers. "I've missed you so damned much."

She tightened her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. "I've missed you too."

He held her for a long moment and then pulled back. He placed a tender kiss on her forehead and ran his thumb over her cheekbone and down her jaw. "Let's get out of here."

She looked at his small bag and frowned. "Don't you need to wait for the rest of your things?"

Harm shook his head. "I'll get them when I come back for my in-processing tomorrow." He hoisted his bag back over his shoulder, and then took her hand in his. They made their way through the crowd of reunited families, his eyes watering as he saw a young sailor crying while holding a small baby, realizing this man was meeting his child for the first time. Once they reached the parking lot where her rental car was parked, he threw his bag in the backseat and climbed in the passenger side. Once the were both in the car, he reached for her again. The kiss was more intense in the relative privacy of the car. He pulled away from her lips and placed soft kisses on her jaw, before moving to her neck.

"Harm," she started, "we have a very nice hotel room waiting for us in Destin."

He pulled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't think I can make it to Destin," he said, his voice low and husky. "An hour drive is too long when it's been over six months."

She smiled at him and ran her hand over his chest. "There's a motel down the street." His brilliant smile nearly took her breath away, and she took a deep breath before putting the key in the ignition. He rested his hand on her thigh as she made her way to the motel she had passed earlier. She pulled into a parking space and they both unbuckled their seatbelts. She looked at him & frowned. "What are you doing?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Going to check us in?"

She shook her head. "I'd rather you didn't. Not while you're in uniform." She glanced at the one level motel and smirked. "Don't worry; I don't think this place will wipe out my bank account. I'll be right back."

He waited impatiently for her to return, his fingers tapping against his thigh. He was a little ashamed at how desperately he needed to be with her. He was relieved that she seemingly wanted to be with him just as much. He adjusted the rearview mirror and watched for her return. It was only a few minutes before she was leaving the office, a piece of paper in hand.

Mac opened the car door and tossed her purse and the paper in the backseat. He stopped tapping his own leg, and moved his hand to hers. His fingers moved over her denim covered thigh and she felt the arousal pool within her. "Our room is at the end of this building." He nodded and she put the car in drive and drove down to the end of the parking lot. They silently got out of the car and he followed her to the room. She fumbled with the key for a moment, before finally unlocking the door and walking inside. He followed, dropping his bag by the door. He pushed it shut and locked it behind him. She turned to face him, and he reached for her.

"I forgot to tell you something earlier."

Her eyes were nearly black and her lips were parted slightly. "Oh yeah? What's that."

He placed feather light kisses over her jaw, and pulled back. "I love you." Her beautiful smile made his heart beat faster, and he took one of her hands and placed it on his chest. "And your six-month proposal time-frame starts now." He lowered his lips to her neck and moved his hands to tug at the tie that secured her top.

* * *

After orgasms that came quicker than either would like, they lay tangled together in the cheap bedding. Harm lay on his back with his eyes closed. Once he had control of his breathing, he opened his eyes and grinned. "I promise I'll last longer next time."

She snorted out a laugh and placed a kiss on his bare chest. "Do I look like I'm complaining?"

He turned his head to look at her and smiled. "You look incredible. You're more beautiful than you were when I left, and I didn't think that was possible."

Mac blushed and smiled. "Working out really helped with the six months of sexual frustration." She leaned in for a kiss, and he ran his fingers through her hair. She lay her head on his chest and released a contented sigh. "I've missed this so much." She tilted her face up and looked at him. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you." He took a deep breath. He needed to tell her about his plans before he exploded. "Mac, I need to talk to you about something."

She pulled herself off of him and used an arm to prop herself up. "Is everything okay?"

He sat up and adjusted the blanket to cover his lap. "Everything is okay. At least I think it is. I hope you'll think it is." He felt like he was rambling. "It's about our future."

Sensing she didn't want to be naked while having this conversation, she sat up and grabbed his discarded white t-shirt from the floor. She pulled it over her head and pulled her legs beneath her. "Okay. Let's talk about the future. You've had six months to think about it. Are you going to remain a pilot?"

His eyes locked on her and he slowly shook his head. "No. I'm glad I did it, but I don't belong in that lifestyle anymore."

Her face lit up in a beautiful smile. "You're coming back to JAG? Have you put in to change your designator yet?"

He shook his head again. "No. I'm not going to. I'm not coming back to JAG."

She cocked her head to the side and he could see confusion spread over her face. "I don't understand, Harm. If you're not going to fly and are not going to return to JAG, what are you going to do?"

He took a deep breath and reached for her hands. "I'm going to resign my commission."

**End Part 11**


	12. Chapter 12

**Everything is Going to be Okay**

**Author**: PreppyPrincess5103

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Summary**: Harm. & Mac struggle with a long-distance relationship after his return to flying.

**Notes**: And since the long-distance part of the relationship is over, this story is now complete! Thanks for following along! Oh, and Paul Bauwer is a reference to the homeless vet in the Season 2 episode 'The Guardian'.

_**Previously…**_

_She cocked her head to the side and he could see confusion spread over her face. "I don't understand, Harm. If you're not going to fly and are not going to return to JAG, what are you going to do?" _

_He took a deep breath and reached for her hands. "I'm going to resign my commission." _

**Part 12**

He had always envied her ability to tell time without a watch, but he had never wanted that gift for himself as much as he did right now. He would give anything to know how long she had been sitting there staring at him in silent shock.

"Mac?" He watched as she opened her mouth, and then instantly closed it. He stroked the heel of her hand with his thumb. They continued to sit in silence and his tongue darted out to moisten his lower lip. "Mac?" She pulled her hands free and stood up. She pulled off Harm's t-shirt and began to dress in her discarded clothes. "Why are you getting dressed?"

She glanced in his direction before shimmying into her jeans. "We are not having this conversation while naked. Please get dressed." She picked up his t-shirt and tossed it to him.

He ignored the shirt and walked over to his bag and pulled out a fresh set of clothes. He finished dressing and sat back down on the bed. He watched her thread gold earrings though her ears and then struggle with the clasp of her necklace. He jumped up and moved to stand behind her, placing his hands on hers briefly before taking the ends of the chain from her. He clasped the necklace, bent to kiss her neck and then placed his hands on her hips and turned her to face him. "Talk to me, Mac."

She looked up at him and shook her head. "Harm, this doesn't make any sense. At all. You love the Navy."

He sighed, and sat on the edge of the bed. "You know I've been restless for a while. I thought being a pilot would help, but it didn't. I wasn't happy doing that, but at the same time I couldn't see myself going back to JAG. I've spent the past six months trying to figure out which career path would make me happy, and I finally realized that it wasn't the careers I didn't want anymore. It was the Navy."

She shook her head and joined him on the bed. "Since when do you have a problem with the Navy?'

Harm looked at his hands, and began to twist his Academy ring around his finger. "I don't have a problem with the Navy. I love the Navy. And I'm proud of the time I've served and the things I'm done. I'm just… I don't know how to explain it."

"Does this have to do with your father?"

He snorted out something that could possibly pass as a laugh, and glanced at her. "Of course, it does. When has anything in my life not had something to do with him." He looked back at his hands and then back at her. "What did you want to be when you grew up?"

She frowned at the topic change, and then smiled sadly. "Anything that was far, far away from the life I had."

He pulled her into his side and kissed her temple. "When you were a little girl, and your first-grade teacher asked what you wanted to be when you grew up, what did you tell her?"

She pulled away from him and smiled shyly. "I didn't know the word for it at the time, but I wanted to be a veterinarian. We had always had pets while I was growing up. They were the one normal, happy, well cared for parts of my child hood. One dog got really sick when I was young, and my dad rushed her to the vet. My mom was at work, so I went with them. And I watched this young man in a white coat save the dog's life and I thought that someday I would like to do that."

He smiled and took her hand in his. "What else did you want to be?"

"A historian." She twined his fingers with hers and looked up at him. "My mom and I went to visit Matt once when he was stationed at Quantico. He took leave and took me to all of the museums and monuments. Then we took a few days and went to the Virginia coast. He took me to the battlefields at Yorktown and Richmond, to Jamestown, and to Colonial Williamsburg. I was fascinated. For a while I wanted to study history and discover old things."

His smile was sad. "Do you know what I wanted to be when I grew up?" He didn't wait for her to answer, since an answer was unnecessary. "I wanted to be a Navy pilot like my dad." He let go of her hand and began to pace. "Mac, I'm 36 years old. And for about 30 years I've only wanted to be a pilot because he was. I never took the time to find out what other things I was interested in, or thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up. The answer was always 'I want to be a Navy pilot like my dad'."

"That's not a bad thing to want to be, Harm." Her voice was gentle and her own expression was sad.

"I know it's not a bad thing. But I am 36 years old. And I never considered anything else. Even when I had my accident, my biggest concern was finding some way to remain in the Navy. I don't even know why I decided to go to law school." He sat back down and placed his hands on his knees. "When I was a kid, my mom tried so hard to get me involved in things. She signed me up for scouts, and sports and art classes. We volunteered for political campaigns and helped out at soup kitchens. She wanted me to discover my own interests and tried to show me that there were other things to be interested in besides being a pilot. I never gave any of those things a chance. She finally stopped trying."

"Harm, you're not the only person who picked a career path because of parental influence. I would have never joined the Marines if not for Matt."

"That's a different situation. You joined because you needed to. And along the way you fell in love with it and decided to stay. What do you love about being a Marine?"

"Besides serving my country?" She smiled, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "The thing I love most is the structure. My life had always been so chaotic. The Corps brought structure. Money was always an issue when I was growing up, and now I make good money and have good benefits. I've learned to be strong and self-sufficient and confident."

He leaned over to cup your face. "You love this life, Mac. And I don't anymore."

She shook her head and stood up. "This is insanity. You're at what – thirteen, fourteen years?"

"Fourteen years."

"Fourteen years, Harm. You're six years away from retirement. The pension and the medical benefits are not insignificant."

He took a deep breath. "Mac, I don't need the money."

She cocked her head to the side and frowned. "Maybe not right now, but it's a guaranteed paycheck for the rest of your life in exchange for six more years. You'll need it someday."

He shook his head. "I won't though."

She raised an eyebrow. "Did you win the lottery recently and not tell me?"

"I won this particular lottery about 25 years ago, when my mom married Frank." She sat back down and his eyes met hers. "Frank set up a pretty significant trust for me when I was younger. And then my maternal grandparents died and left me some money, and mom had him roll that into the trust. I've barely touched it, so I promise I won't starve or become homeless."

She opened and shut her mouth a few times. "I want to ask, but I'm not sure asking is appropriate."

"Seriously? I want to marry you. Everything I have is yours." He told her the amount and bit his lip as her eyes widened. "My place was a foreclosure, and the bank was only accepting cash offers. So, I used some of the money for that. But other than that, I haven't touched it."

"Jesus Christ, Harm." She stood again and began to pace.

He grabbed her hand and tugged her back down. "I'm sorry I haven't told you. I wasn't trying to keep it from you, and I don't want you to think I don't trust you. It's just always been a non-issue until now." He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. "The fact of the matter is that money isn't an issue. And if it ever became an issue, I'm sure I could easily find a job with a civilian law firm." He gently elbowed her side. "I'm sure you'll remember that the pay is pretty good."

She blushed and looked away. "Leaving JAG for the civilian life was a horrible mistake and I regretted it almost instantly." She glanced at him and asked, "If you're not going to be in the Navy, what are you going to do?"

He smiled, and she noticed it was the first real smile she'd seen since they started this conversation. "I'm not 100% sure yet. There are a lot of things I'd like to do. I'd still like to practice law, only I'd like to do a more pro-bono work. I want to help children like Dar-Lynn, and refugees like the pregnant woman on the Patrick Henry. I'd like to help more homeless veterans like Paul Bauwer. Those cases make me feel alive. They make me feel like I'm doing something that really matters. I'd like to teach people to fly. Taking people up in Sarah and teaching them how to fly her has always made me really happy. I'd like for us to buy the worst house in the nicest area, and I'd like to be able to fix it up without it taking five years because I travel so much."

"Why now, Harm? Why buy a house now? I'm not resigning, so who knows where we'll end up. Why not just wait? Then we can retire together. We'll still be young enough to do the things you want to do."

He narrowed his eyes. "Wait six years? Are you kidding me?" He shot off the bed and turned to face her. "For the love of God, Mac. I'm not happy with my work. I need to do something else. I don't want to suck it up for the next six years. And I'm not waiting six years to marry you and buy a house with you, and start a life with you and you know that. Jesus, I don't even want to wait the six months I promised you. I want those things, Mac. I want kids. I want that life with you. And I'm not going to sit around and wait six years for that." Her eyes filled with tears and he wanted to scream. "I'm sorry for raising my voice."

"You can't do this because you want a life with me. I will not spend the rest of my life burdened with the knowledge that you gave up a promising Naval career because of me."

The urge to scream was back. "Mac, I'm not doing this because of you. I'm doing this because I'm unhappy." An unpleasant thought came to him and he had to force the words out. "Are you only interested in me if I put on a uniform every day?"

Her eyes widened and she stood quickly. "Harm, no." She put her hands on his cheeks and forced him to look at her. "Of course not. I told you a few months ago that I'd love you even if you resigned to become an alpaca farmer. That's not going to change." She looked down and bit her lower lip. "I'm scared you're doing this to make things easier for us, and you'll wake up one day and resent me."

He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her face up. "Mac, I have never lied to you. And I'm not lying to you now. This has nothing to do with you, or us. It has to do with me, and how I've felt since I found out what happened to dad. It has to do with the fact that I've felt tethered to one goal and one person for thirty something years, and now that I'm not I don't really know what to do with myself." He ran a hand over her hair and pulled her to him. "It has to do with wanting to discover who I am outside of his shadow and the Navy." He felt tears on his neck and pulled back to look at her. "Why are you crying?"

She laughed and swiped at her eyes. "I have no idea."

He smiled and pulled her to him again. "I love you. And I know we could make a dual military relationship work if we needed to. I promise I'm not doing this because of us." He bent his head and brushed his lips against hers. "Okay?"

"Okay." Her voice was soft and sad, and he felt frustrated and guilty at the same time.

"Let's get out of here," he suggested. "We have dinner reservations later, and I don't know about you but I could really go for a walk on the beach."

"Okay." She started to pull away from him, but he tugged her close.

"Sarah, I need you to believe me about this. I'm not giving up my career for us. I promise you that. Please don't feel guilty or afraid." She nodded, but he knew she was still uneasy. He brushed her hair back and kissed her gently. "It's all going to be okay."

**The End. **


End file.
